Relationship New Relationship With A Man With Ptsd

[dms]

Honestly, I recommend that you work on yourself and wait for him to contact you. Painful, I know. I wish you luck.

 

[Briggslee]

I've been in a relationship with a man who has PTSD for about two years now. We've lived together for about that long too. There are definitely mood swings. There are definitely days when all he wants to do is isolate. In fact, when I first met him all he did was sit as his house with blankets over the windows. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He waited until it was very late to go shopping anywhere because there would be fewer people about.

I've found that the best thing to do when he wants to isolate is to let him. Don't try to comfort him. It will only make it worse. Normally, I pick up a book and leave to read it in another room. That way I won't be distracting him in any way. And most of the time, he comes to me to talk when he's ready to talk. Always let him come to you, and don't take anything too personally.

 

[sthrngirl]

Thank you! I am learning not to take it personal. I really care about him so it breaks my heart because I wish he didn't have to feel this way.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I agree... let him contact you first. Contacting him might actually make him isolate longer if it irritates him.

It does suck :(. It is emotionally and mentally exhausting. You just have to learn to give him the space he needs and occupy yourself with your own life. Let him come back around. If he does, and he wants to be in a relationship with you, then you need to let him know that you cannot go through that worry again. Him needing to isolate is one thing... him putting you through that crap is another. A simple text saying "I need to be alone for awhile, but I'm OK" is not too much to ask for.

Just wait for a time when he is in a good place mentally before trying to establish that boundary. He may not be in a good place emotionally or mentally when he is finally poking his head back out into the light.

 

[sthrngirl]

Almost a week with no contact.. I hope he comes around soon bc I am about to go crazy!!! So hard to not say anything at all.. Even if it's just a "I miss you and goodnight" I'm not going to do it.

 

[Sweetpea76]

That is the worst :(

Stay strong sthrngirl

 

[Briggslee]

I don't think it would be a bad idea just to let him know you are there if he needs you.

 

[KyGirl31]

This is what the forum is all about. I feel crappy today, crying a lot! My ex husband has been in my face, my father putting his two cents in on my life and of course I decided to do no contact with my guy. It's been a bad morning but for some reason this thread helped me stop crying:) Hope he contacts you soon!

 

[sthrngirl]

Thank you :) I am glad I am not going thru this alone!

 

[Iamhere]

Cupcake WELCOME!!! You won't feel alone here. Feel free to open your self up, there's absolutely no judgement here.

 

[dms]

"Be sure not to let other people "should" on you. Folks are always so ready to let you know what you "should be" or "should not be" doing, they get very little done in their own lives. If your mother, father, sister, brother, children, friend is so sure of what you should be doing, let them do it." Iyanla V.

 

[sthrngirl]

Sooo true! If people care enough to judge they should be real enough to help!