New to Site - Raped and Nervous

[nic]

Um...hi All,

I'm not much of a computer person, and I don't really know how this all works...but here goes...

I'm a 20-something and have had PTSD for (about) 10 years now. I was sexually assaulted [raped] several times by a "friend" when I was a teen. I've tried therapy and have been on almost every anxiety medication they make, but it wasn't recently that I have actally talked about what happened in detail.

I was part of a study on the use of propranolol to treat PTSD, and (in my case), it didn't work. It sucks, because for a little while I actually had hope that I would get over this and be "normal"...now I'm not so sure.

Now I'm told that CBT is my best option, but I'm a bit hesitant. Relaxation techniques have never worked for me, and bringing up the trauma makes me physically ill.

Will someone just invent a time machine so that I can go back and change things?!?!

nic

 

[morgan]

Hi nic. You're in the right place. welcome to the forum.

 

[Lisa]

Don't lose hope... there is a lot of information here about the various ways to overcome... but pretty much it's a given that it takes working through it which is the sucky part. But it does work...it's worked for people here...

I'm glad you found us.

Welcome.

 

[upstream]

Will someone just invent a time machine so that I can go back and change things?!?!

In CBT I was told at some point I had to give up the idea of having a better past.

Welcome to the forum nic!

 

[anthony]

That is an incredibly good statement you made upstream... thank you for that.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Nic,

Have faith, keep hope, work hard. There is life after PTSD. Welcome to the forum.

 

[nie]

Welcome to the forum nic.

 

[nic]

Thanks for the support, All. After reading what some of you have posted, it seems like many of you have had PTSD for a while. Is it possible to get RID of it...once and for all??? I was kind of hoping the CBT would do that...will it?

nic

 

[anthony]

PTSD is incurable Nic.... you can heal trauma and learn management skills to help yourself maintain and keep PTSD in check for the most part, but if you expose yourself to stressors you will get a negative response from PTSD. It is lifelong currently... though they are working at finding possible cures.

 

[Portabella]

Welcome Nic, May your journey of healing begin, you are on the right road, welcome to the site.....Theresa

 

[upstream]

Thanks for the support, All. After reading what some of you have posted, it seems like many of you have had PTSD for a while. Is it possible to get RID of it...once and for all??? I was kind of hoping the CBT would do that...will it?

nic

I was never raped or physically assaulted. Most of my abuse was emotional/psychological/neglect and perceptual (including threats of suicide and being made to fear for my own life). I have no personal experience regarding the affect your traumas have had on you, I do not know how similar it is in nature.

That being said, in my personal experience this is what was needed to begin to heal from trauma(I'll let you know if I ever learn the 'get rid of it' part):
1) Empathy
2) A willingness to challenge my own deeply held perceptions and beliefs
3) People to help me challenge my own deeply held perceptions and beliefs
4) Education
5) Time

CBT can help you with this, but it is not a ride. You need to do much introspection and work yourself and recovery can take years.

Trauma affects our perceptions and beliefs about ourselves and others. This is especially true in a developing person. How old were you at the time of your first trauma?

 

[nic]

Thanks for the advice, Upstream. The events happened when I was between the ages of 15 and 17...it's been 10 years now, and I wish I could just move on...

Nic