Twinkles28
New Here
Hi guys
Please bear with me; I'm new to this site/forum.
I have read many of your threads over the past few months whilst on a journey educations myself further on the condition in which my partner sufferers with and the time has finally come to post myself.
I am basically at the end of my road with regards to my relationship (which has now ended for good I believe) it echoes many of the stories which I have read; we had an amazing time, it was very loving, we were very balanced and something has triggered my (ex) partners memories and he is struggling to cope.
He is in the armed forces and has faced up to his PTSD and is receiving scattered therapy (I call it that as there has been big breaks in between sessions and has only had three so far).
I know I am in a situation where I have to care for myself, and I am, and am going to move forward on my own but he knows the door is open to him should he need me.
The confusion I have is over other people; I have read books upon books on PTSD and trauma and was always aware that the PTSD sufferer can often become promiscuous and seek attention not from the person they truly adore, but a person they barely know and in turn ignore the person they truly feel for. In turn they feel horrendous after the encounter (whether it be texting/flirting/meeting up) and I am aware it is apparently a temporary validation of them feeling more worthy or desirable. My partner would never ever cheat on me he is not that type of person, however; when this episode first flared up and we were apart other people weren't an issue, we tried to reconcile recently however it was very short lived as he is terrified he will hurt me, I now believe it is to do with the attention from other people as he admitted he had no idea why he was seeking attention from people who meant nothing (it transpired he had done that just before we got back together and up until the point of it ending again. I personally feel as though he has hit rock bottom and he is going to go out of his way to get attention from people, feel horrendous after, and begin the cycle again. I know this is causing him great pain as he openly admits he loves me more than anything but is terrified he is going to hurt me but doesn't elaborate further than that.
I have to leave him be now and hope his treatment helps him find his way back; I guess my questions are around whether anyone can explain the process of why you ignore the person you want so much for someone that means nothing, and makes you feel so bad? Especially when that is not your nature generally!.
One that probably can't be answered; how do you know it's time to let go....?! I still feel in my heart we can make it but just not right now, we need to be apart at the moment and focus on ourselves. I'd like to think I'm pretty well educated in PTSD however in no way understanding of the complexities of it!.
I hope you guys can help and I hope this makes sense to you! Sorry for the big intro!
Twinkles28 x
Please bear with me; I'm new to this site/forum.
I have read many of your threads over the past few months whilst on a journey educations myself further on the condition in which my partner sufferers with and the time has finally come to post myself.
I am basically at the end of my road with regards to my relationship (which has now ended for good I believe) it echoes many of the stories which I have read; we had an amazing time, it was very loving, we were very balanced and something has triggered my (ex) partners memories and he is struggling to cope.
He is in the armed forces and has faced up to his PTSD and is receiving scattered therapy (I call it that as there has been big breaks in between sessions and has only had three so far).
I know I am in a situation where I have to care for myself, and I am, and am going to move forward on my own but he knows the door is open to him should he need me.
The confusion I have is over other people; I have read books upon books on PTSD and trauma and was always aware that the PTSD sufferer can often become promiscuous and seek attention not from the person they truly adore, but a person they barely know and in turn ignore the person they truly feel for. In turn they feel horrendous after the encounter (whether it be texting/flirting/meeting up) and I am aware it is apparently a temporary validation of them feeling more worthy or desirable. My partner would never ever cheat on me he is not that type of person, however; when this episode first flared up and we were apart other people weren't an issue, we tried to reconcile recently however it was very short lived as he is terrified he will hurt me, I now believe it is to do with the attention from other people as he admitted he had no idea why he was seeking attention from people who meant nothing (it transpired he had done that just before we got back together and up until the point of it ending again. I personally feel as though he has hit rock bottom and he is going to go out of his way to get attention from people, feel horrendous after, and begin the cycle again. I know this is causing him great pain as he openly admits he loves me more than anything but is terrified he is going to hurt me but doesn't elaborate further than that.
I have to leave him be now and hope his treatment helps him find his way back; I guess my questions are around whether anyone can explain the process of why you ignore the person you want so much for someone that means nothing, and makes you feel so bad? Especially when that is not your nature generally!.
One that probably can't be answered; how do you know it's time to let go....?! I still feel in my heart we can make it but just not right now, we need to be apart at the moment and focus on ourselves. I'd like to think I'm pretty well educated in PTSD however in no way understanding of the complexities of it!.
I hope you guys can help and I hope this makes sense to you! Sorry for the big intro!
Twinkles28 x
