Sufferer Newbie From Kansas

[IdesOfMarch]

I apologize in advance for any breach of etiquette as this is my first time posting here (or anywhere else for that matter). Admittedly, I have not read very many posts here to get a feel for it or to acknowledge if I'm being redundant. With that disclaimer, here I go.

I've been in the mental health system since childhood...that's about 25 years. And, throughout that time my diagnosis has changed often as have the medications I've been prescribed. I started EMDR therapy two years ago and it was the first treatment methodology that made sense to me. It explained why when certain things happen (triggers) I feel like I'll vomit. It explained so many of my fears. That understanding not only eased my anxiety but it gave me hope. I think I’m about to run out of hope.

My therapist took a new job working for the VA in another state. Noble work, absolutely, no question. Her caseload was transferred to one of her co-workers but I found it too hard to start over. After so many years in the system, I just can’t find the courage to start over again for the ump-teenth time.

I’m trying to say all the right things…all the intelligent and rational things. I can’t live like this. I’ve been living like this my whole life. I’m so tired. If I were to describe my emotions in a few words it would be “exhausted, empty, hopeless, sorry.” I guess I’m posting here in hopes that someone else feels like this too.
Thank you for taking the time to read.

May peace find us all,
~j

 

[SeanCharles]

Hello and Welcome to the myptsd forum! your post is good for being your first attempt.

After so many years in the system, I just can’t find the courage to start over again for the ump-teenth time.

I can understand having to start over when you finally find a therapist you connect well with. I, myself am without a therapist and in ways miss the interaction, yet I don't too in ways because I can work on my own agenda at my own pace.

If I were to describe my emotions in a few words it would be “exhausted, empty, hopeless, sorry.”

I am sorry that you are having these negative emotions. While I am not a professional, I would say you need to look at these realistically and maybe pin point why you connect strongly with these and maybe you change these.

All the best,

Geordie From Alaska

 

[arfie]

A big howdy from Texas.

Yup, psychology is still rapid cycling quicker than adolescent slang. As sciences go, psychology is barely in its adolescence, so I guess that's appropriate enough. Still, we work with what we have.

I started therapy in 1972 for suicidal ideation. I have not been at it constantly since then, but consistently. I am currently in maintenance phase and have been for years. Working a bit of my program keeps me functioning at high levels. Some days are still better than others, but I reckon that is just life.

Welcome to the forum, ides. Hope you'll relax and be able to more true to your real self.

 

[intothelight]

Hi IdesofMarch,

Welcome to the forum!

Take your time and read the various articles and threads about therapy. EMDR is very effective in treating trauma, but like all treatment, there should be clear cut goals and a maintenance plan when the treatment ends. What are your goals? What do you want to achieve? What is effective and helps you the most? Those are the discussions you need to have with your new therapist so they can help you get to where you want to be. You should never feel like you are starting over, just continuing to get better and the right therapist should help you achieve that.

I hope you find the information and support here helpful. This site is really a great place for resources and connecting with people who understand.

Debbie