Supporter Newbie In Search Of Ways To Support/understand Wife's Ptsd Due To Childbirth And Save Our Marriage

[The Martian]

Hi, Didn't know where to go to find a wealth of knowledge to gain insight on how I could be supportive for my wife after 10 years of marriage and not recognizing her depressive state could actually be PTSD due to a traumatizing childbirth experience. The years following have been laden with withdrawal, irritability and her feeling that I have been unkind, unsupportive, disrespectful, and insensitive. I'm frustrated because I feel like in the past I have reached out to her but she always pushed me away which has made me separate myself from her unless she comes to me. In return, our relationship has not been good and now we are struggling through divorce which neither one of us want but may be the answer. Our love for our 9 yr old daughter has been the gorilla glue to the marriage despite the birth of her being the beginning to possibly the end of our marriage.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi, and welcome to the forum. :)

Is your wife in treatment with a therapist right now? If not I advise you to encourage her to seek out a therapist who can help her process the traumatic childbirth. Would she also be open to marriage counseling?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[intothelight]

@The Martian Welcome to the forum!

Personally, I believe a relationship is as healthy as the people who are in it. I don't now if your wife is in therapy, but it would probably be a good start for each of you to address issues individually then together. Counseling and therapy don't "fix" things, but they give people the tools and the guidance to fix it. I really hope you find this site helpful and the support here beneficial.

 

[Lullaby_Blue]

I first suggest finding a female therapist.
Secondly, as a wife myself, i can understand the whole irritablitly and the whole enchalada so to speak. Sometimes the Triggers are so insignificant in my life, i won't recognize them and just snap at people i care for most. Patience pays off, as do boundaries. Respect her, but try letting her know that you would like respect as well. Talk about how you can't imagine her pain, but you are going to be trying to be there for her. Its hard when one is so traumatized, that they can't relate to another person, because all their effort and strength goes into caring for self and or child. It sometiems can become a struggle to even bother trying. Hope and peace are few. Try soft musics and carefree conversations for a while. Once a person is lost in agony, they will snap at someone (anyone) who tries to get them to talk about stressful events or subjects. Best of luck

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug: