Welcome to the forum lifeguard17. I want to let you know that you are not alone in your struggle. I was a combat medic for the u.s. army and performed 3 deployments to Iraq. I really do understand what you have been through. I have had to work on numerous friends in a combat environment. For me, aside from PTSD, I had to deal with survivor's guilt and feeling responsible for the outcome of peoples' lives. I am by no means cured of anything, but I would say I am in a much better position than I was 8 years ago when my nightmare began. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. If I can be of any assistance or if you want to just talk, I am here for you. Very Respectfully, Paranoid10.