I'm a missionary kid and amongst other places I lived in Kenya for four years. During that time there was an election and when the results were disputed the entire country broke out into a near genocidal 2 months of ethnic violence. I always knew that the stress of witnessing humanity's ugliest side and living in fear of having to evacuate at a moments notice had changed me, but I didn't realize how much. After moving back to the USA to start college I realized that still having nightmares, insomnia and flashbacks 3 years later was a problem that needed to be addressed. I finally went to therapy and got diagnosed with PTSD.
After 6 months of therapy I had reached a point where my symptoms were manageable and went about my life as close to usual as could be expected. That was over a year ago, but then a few weeks ago I encountered a new trigger at a grocery store back in Kenya (home for christmas break) and now I'm dealing with a whole new wave of uncontrolled flashbacks and stress. I'm also feeling completely emotionally numb. I havent felt joy or even sadness in weeks, it's like living in black and white (not in the artsy ways) with ocassional brief outbursts of rage.
So ya that's why im here. Im not looking for pity or anything, but I need a connection with people who can understand. I've gotten my life back in control once and I can do it again.
<edited for space between paragraphs by Deaf Global Nomad>
After 6 months of therapy I had reached a point where my symptoms were manageable and went about my life as close to usual as could be expected. That was over a year ago, but then a few weeks ago I encountered a new trigger at a grocery store back in Kenya (home for christmas break) and now I'm dealing with a whole new wave of uncontrolled flashbacks and stress. I'm also feeling completely emotionally numb. I havent felt joy or even sadness in weeks, it's like living in black and white (not in the artsy ways) with ocassional brief outbursts of rage.
So ya that's why im here. Im not looking for pity or anything, but I need a connection with people who can understand. I've gotten my life back in control once and I can do it again.
<edited for space between paragraphs by Deaf Global Nomad>
