Sufferer Newbie, With Trust Issues

[Beetle]

I have not done this before, although I know I have a user name to hide my real identity it still feels scary. I am not sure if I should be doing this joining a group, as I do not feel I have anything to offer. I struggle to keep my self safe and emotionally stable so am unsure how I could offer any of you support and guidance.

I was diagnosed with complex PTSD 7 years ago for reasons I am for now unable to share. I have OCD tendencies and heave already checked too many times since starting this post that my user name still says Beetle.

I have huge trust issues with everyone I meet and have sabotaged many friendships.

I am working hard with a therapist to turn my life around, it is tough and at times I want to give up and hide from the world. I hope I can stay strong enough to see it through, although I feel it is going to be a life's work.

I have said enough, I feel perhaps too much.

Thank you for reading my post.

 

[Joan]

Welcome and congratulations for reaching out for support. The work is very hard! I think you will find many others on here who feel very similar to you...somehow that helps me to know I am not alone in how I feel. I hope that as time goes on you feel supported on here, just take your time.

 

[Angelwings]

Welcome! I think you will find a lot of support here...and just in case you're wondering, your username...still says Beetle.

 

[Hashi]

Please don't worry about how much you can give. We all have times (sometimes v.e.r.y long times) when there's not much we can give, but people here get that. Actually, you're giving something just by participating and sharing as you have done. :)

I sympathise with the OCD tendencies. :(

I hope that being on the forum will help you. Take your time, settle in, post about what you want, as much or as little as you want. You're welcome here.

 

[HelenB]

I just wanted to say welcome to the forum too. I have found this site very good and there a lot of good people here, and you do not need to worry about what you can or cannot give. You are here because you deserve friendship and support and I am so glad you feel you have been able to reach out and make that first contact and hope you can feel as welcomed and part of this community as you need for you.

God bless
Helen

 

[arfie]

Welcome to the forum, Beetle.

Personally, I believe that playing super hero of Zen master is thoroughly counter productive in a support group. The healing strength I get from a support group is from the honest sharing of personal struggles in motion. It inspires and strengthens me in ways do-gooders and experts never can.

But that is me. Another marvel of support groups is that they can be many things to many people.

 

[WillyKat]

Welcome Beetle!

Let me just say that

I do not feel I have anything to offer

is the PTSD talking. That's just part of the evil narrative that weighs on all of us. It ain't true. Just seeing that you

working hard with a therapist to turn my life around

makes me feel a little more courage. I feel a little lift just from that.

You do have something to offer; we all do.

 

[Mercy]

I am working hard with a therapist to turn my life around, it is tough and at times I want to give up and hide from the world. I hope I can stay strong enough to see it through, although I feel it is going to be a life's work.

Congratulations on working hard with your T. It is hard work. I find it exhausting. Depending on what we uncover, it can make me feel so sad. These days, I think that is a feeling that goes with the experience. I can encourage you to keep going. Though it is hard, there will be more and more times when your strength has been built up by your work, issues can be a little more worked out. Then, you can begin having good mornings, or evenings. As you go forward there will be more times when you can feel some relief.

I respect you for posting here and for the work you are doing.

 

[Fallen Angel]

Dear Beetle,
Your post made me smile not in a "haha laughing at you kinda way", but because it really takes a great snapshot of those with OCD tendencies. It's been a rough day for me. Thanks for the smile and welcome to the forum. I'm new here too and the folks here have been great.

 

[Maliginity]

Took me 3 hours to post my introduction today.....we can be newbs together <3

 

[Recker]

I'm a newb here too, took me months to post and have only posted once. One thing I liked about this site is random googlers can only view so much before they have to register. It's cool

 

[intothelight]

Hi Beetle,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum!

Making the first post is one of the most difficult parts of joining this forum. I hope you find that being here is helpful to your recovery.

Take care.

Debbie