Sufferer Newly Diagnosed After 16 Years

[TealandHeal]

Hi guys, I'm Amelia and I was recently diagnosed with PTSD. My PTSD is from an older child molesting me on several occasions when I was 8 and from 2 rapes in 2010. I have kept my stuff together fro 16 years and never knew why I felt the way I did. I had depression,anxiety, panic attacks, disassociation and nightmares. I always threw myself into work and school and was always making people laugh. I never addressed my issues because I was not even aware that I had been raped and molested. Now I am 23 and I have lost my mind. I blackout and leave my house, My panic attacks are awful. Im triggered by a ton of things and super agitated. I can never relax.
I am finally being medicated and I start therapy this Friday. I am trying to heal. I bought books, a journal and I make awareness bracelets and donate the profits to my non-profit mental health center. I am trying. I just hate feeling so uncomfortable.

 

[WillyKat]

Welcome to the forum!

It sounds like you're really taking charge of things. I know that sense of never being able to relax and that it par for the course w/ PTSD. I think coming here and sharing your feelings will help being more comfortable.

It sounds too like you do your homework, so my advice is to look up grounding and mindfulness. And remember to breathe deeply.

Something that helped me was drawing a diagram in my notebook I have at work. It's just a bunch of circles or rectangles with a few arrows here in there, but it has things like "Breathe", "Let go", "Meaning", "Purpose". It had no affect early on, but then I noticed that hours after looking at it every day, it started to work. I wouldn't notice right away but hours later, things calmed and the day went better. There's no guarantee it will work for you, but just a thought.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

Hi and welcome to the forum. Reading your post it bears lots of similarities to my traumas and experiences . It will get better though but it does take time. I think your doing a lot already so well done and good luck x the forum will help you with lots of support and advice x

 

[intothelight]

@TealandHeal Welcome to the forum! :)

 

[garden]

Welcome

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum:)