Hello everyone,
My name is Denise and I was just diagnosed on Monday with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety. My psychiatrist is starting me off with 2.5 mg. of Lexapro for 10 days and then 5 mg until we meet again in 3 weeks. - He also prescribed Neurontin to help with anxiety, body/joint pains, and insomnia.
I am 39 and have been struggling with different levels of depression and anxiety since I was 5 or 6. I experienced physical,mental, and sexual abuse as a child and as a result had a difficult time as a young adult - very poor decisions - To my doctors shock however, alcohol and drugs have never been an issues. I think because I am so paranoid of being out of control, I can't stand anything stronger than maybe a 1/2 glass of wine maybe once a month. Don't smoke either. I hate anything that is mind altering. Both my mother and sister have multiple mental illnesses and have become highly addicted to ativan, xanax, valium, etc. - I also am the first person on my mother's side of the family to have never had a drug or alcohol problem. Alcoholism was a commonality in my household growing up.
Anyhow, i've been reluctant to seek treatment over the years out of fear of either becoming worse with meds or never becoming whole. If that makes any sense. It's scary to develop hope for something that I fear can't come true for me. To add to the mix, I have a phobia of meds. Seriously, I tried wellbuterin,paxil, effexor, and I can't remember what else, about 13 years ago when I sought treatment last. Nothing worked. While on the meds I was positive I was going to die. I feel sorry for the 24 hour CVS pharmacist at the time. I had him on speed dial, and kept him on and off the phone during the middle of the night asking questions a-z. As a result, I get nervous just to take certain vitamins and supplements - last week I had severe back spasms and neck pain from a bulging disc - prescribed baclofen and then flexorall - I stuck with ibuprofen and a heating pad. (Ridiculous, I know)
Okay, enough of the negative talk. I know that for years It's like I have been stuck in a car that I drove into a gutter - too afraid to get out of the car. Well, i'm out of the car and I am determined not to get back into it. It's now or never, and I know I can do this, but not without a support system. That is why I am here. I am in desperate need of a support system and would love to give as much support as possible. I need to start my meds asap, but I am scared.
Thanks for listening and apologies for the LONG post! :)
My name is Denise and I was just diagnosed on Monday with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety. My psychiatrist is starting me off with 2.5 mg. of Lexapro for 10 days and then 5 mg until we meet again in 3 weeks. - He also prescribed Neurontin to help with anxiety, body/joint pains, and insomnia.
I am 39 and have been struggling with different levels of depression and anxiety since I was 5 or 6. I experienced physical,mental, and sexual abuse as a child and as a result had a difficult time as a young adult - very poor decisions - To my doctors shock however, alcohol and drugs have never been an issues. I think because I am so paranoid of being out of control, I can't stand anything stronger than maybe a 1/2 glass of wine maybe once a month. Don't smoke either. I hate anything that is mind altering. Both my mother and sister have multiple mental illnesses and have become highly addicted to ativan, xanax, valium, etc. - I also am the first person on my mother's side of the family to have never had a drug or alcohol problem. Alcoholism was a commonality in my household growing up.
Anyhow, i've been reluctant to seek treatment over the years out of fear of either becoming worse with meds or never becoming whole. If that makes any sense. It's scary to develop hope for something that I fear can't come true for me. To add to the mix, I have a phobia of meds. Seriously, I tried wellbuterin,paxil, effexor, and I can't remember what else, about 13 years ago when I sought treatment last. Nothing worked. While on the meds I was positive I was going to die. I feel sorry for the 24 hour CVS pharmacist at the time. I had him on speed dial, and kept him on and off the phone during the middle of the night asking questions a-z. As a result, I get nervous just to take certain vitamins and supplements - last week I had severe back spasms and neck pain from a bulging disc - prescribed baclofen and then flexorall - I stuck with ibuprofen and a heating pad. (Ridiculous, I know)
Okay, enough of the negative talk. I know that for years It's like I have been stuck in a car that I drove into a gutter - too afraid to get out of the car. Well, i'm out of the car and I am determined not to get back into it. It's now or never, and I know I can do this, but not without a support system. That is why I am here. I am in desperate need of a support system and would love to give as much support as possible. I need to start my meds asap, but I am scared.
Thanks for listening and apologies for the LONG post! :)
