Night Terrors And Survivors Guilt

[Jimmy1]

This only adds weight to the symptoms and makes us know we are not alone. I have only had about 10 hours of quality sleep in the last 4 days.
So, of course our spider senses tingle and we are on edge. It takes whatever energy we have left to focus on day to day activities. And of course, we are prone to bite the head off anyone, whether they deserve it or not.

I am hoping tonight is one of peace.

 

[MikeyPiro]

Getting down the sleep was my first step in therapy. Do you keep a sleep log? it helps!

 

[Jimmy1]

Mikey, I was just discussing this with Margaret, my partner, this morning.

I wake up every night at midnight, and usually at 3 am. Then I am wide awake at dawn. Its only a rare occasion that I will stay in bed. Might have something to do with 20 years of conditioning.
I have tried everything from sleep medication, to meditation, to not having anything with caffeine after 2 pm, to making sure my sleep hygiene was on par.

In the end I think I worry too much about how much sleep I am going to get, that I end up thinking about it which keeps me awake. I hope this makes sense.
Its like I used to get anxious about getting anxious when it came to the general public

 

[Ammonthejarhead]

Tim...I know A LOT about survivors guilt...I'm the sole survivor of a detachment of 32 deployed with me in Somalia and then my good friend who saved my life there died in Iraq. That sent me into a tailspin...I didn't care about ANYTHING for months...I was so angry that I tried to kill someone who started a fight with a friend of mine. I didn't care...nothing mattered...I didn't even remember starting to punch him until my friends pulled me off. That's why I started to get help, but I still have it and sometimes I go through horrible flashbacks. When Gunny Bohr died I felt like I might as well have died with him. I kept thinking "why me" "why am I the one who's still alive" so I understand what you're feeling. You hit me up ANYTIME if you want to talk in private about this stuff.

 

[K-9 Al]

Ever think you left a piece of yourself over there and want to go back and try to find it? I been feeling that alot lately. Haven't been sleepin between the pain and the PTSD. Therapist just requested 12 more visits thru tri care for continuation of care. Said i'm not getting better then right now but I'm not getting worse either.Told me today I may never be totally healed but as long as I can get to a point where I can function we should be Ok. Not sure how I feel about this.

:confused:

Tim & Bailey

YES! I feel like that all the time. i am such a different person from then and now. It feels like that was my normal and now I dont know what my normal is. I didnt have all these overwhelming symptoms.

 

[Tim &Bailey]

When Gunny Bohr died I felt like I might as well have died with him. I kept thinking "why me" "why am I the one who's still alive" so I understand what you're feeling. You hit me up ANYTIME if you want to talk in private about this stuff.

I just might do that, I have meds, my service Dog and see a therapist weekly. Just sometimes better to talk to those of us who have been there. If you haven't u don't understand. I had my brother go." Its simple you kill them or they kill you. You guys volunteered for this sis you think you were goin to disneyland?"

This was a few years back- but if he never served a day in his life dont freakin tell me you know how you'd handle it! He's my brother and I love him but he just don't get it, fortunately for him he never will.

Tim & Bailey

 

[Misera1013]

I agree they don’t get it. Grrrr.