Nightmares, Again.

[Shulamit]

Hello,

I am new.

Around this time of year I always start having trouble with sleep, specifically I have very lucid nightmares. It all comes around to the anniversary of my traumatic event but it's being further exacerbated due to problems with my physical health.

It's gotten to the point that I have anxiety attacks before/while I'm falling asleep because I am scared to sleep. Then I usually startle awake at least once per night, plus early wakening around the same time every morning. Sometimes I can get back to sleep. Sometimes, well I guess often, I wake up thinking I'm where I was during the nightmare. It's scary.

My prescriptions for my sleep and anxiety medications have been upped, which has helped marginally.

I guess I'm just frustrated. For 10 months of the year I have relatively healthy sleep patterns where I feel like I've gotten enough sleep - it's like the one thing I can count on in my life. But lately, and I know it's going to last, I just sort of have to battle through the storm.

I think this is year is going to be worse seeing as it's the 10 year anniversary. I'm worried as well, I guess, that I might resort back to my negative coping mechanisms. Increasing amounts of flashbacks aren't helping.

Really just not sure what to do and I don't feel like there are really people in my life (offline, online) that I can open up with. I've never discussed the circumstances surrounding or details of the traumatic event. There are people I've met online who have PTSD but I feel like it often becomes "misery loves company" when I try to open up and I feel obligated to help instead of asking for support.

 

[franciemarnie]

Is there anything you can do that might help you at night that you've never tried before?

I have had periods of difficult sleep with night terrors in my 20's and 40's. In my 20's, I would wake because I stopped breathing due to having a panic attack every night at the same time in my sleep.

Is it possible there is trauma energy that hasn't been released and it is trying to work its way out in your sleep? Something deeply disturbing is in process obviously and the meds aren't helping. They are only keeping it down a little and unsuccessfully at that. I don't know what kind of therapy you are doing but maybe a different direction is called for.

I exhausted the possibilities of talk therapy over 25 years. It did just about nothing to help me. Somatic therapy and discharge of emotional energy has changed my life, but everyone is different and there are other options.

Nothing may change unless you change what you are doing or add something new into the mix.

Have you read Waking the Tiger? Peter Levine wrote it and I found it illuminating.

Anyway, I empathize. Sleep is when we should be able to rest and restore to take on each new day. For a PTSD sufferer, sleep is vital and too often lacking in quality and quantity. I sure hope this cycle changes for you.