Nightmares

[Reclusive]

Bordo - I was on Temazepam for awhile and it made me sleep a lot, too. But it was pretty decent sleep, if I recall rightly.

 

[Bordo66]

Well I feel a lot happyer now, now that I know I will get sleep and dont get nightmares. The side effects make me a bit sleepy but I dont care about that. I can go outside and be happy :D. Going to the psyichiatrist next week to talk about the medicine and also one more time to the psychologist for a final talk for now and Ima depart to guernsey next week.

 

[shell]

It's what keeps me awake every night, they are always different and creepy. Last nights was someone killing themselves. I've tried sleeping tablets but I found I start recalling memories just as I was falling asleep so I stopped using them. I usually get about 4hrs sleep a night. Having a fear of sleep really sucks.

 

[Bordo66]

I also had fear of sleep but with the pills are a lot better

 

[Serene]

I also get repetitive nightmares that all my teeth are falling out.

I have that dream too. I'll be eating and all of the sudden I realize that I am chewing up my teeth along with the food.

I have recurring dreams about bathrooms. I have had hundreds of them. There is never any privacy. I try to take a shower but can't for a million different reasons. There is urine and feces everywhere. Toilets over flow. People attack me. Hands come up out of the bathtub to grab me. I can't get my clothes off or I can't keep them on. The door won't lock or it won't close or there isn't one at all. Sometimes the whole bathroom collapses around me and I am buried alive inside the rubble.

I'm okay in my own bathroom but public bathrooms can be a very scary place for me. Especially if there are other people in there. If someone is waiting to use the stall I am in I just have to leave. I cannot relax enough to urinate when someone is standing outside my door.

 

[angel2write]

I have recurring dreams about bathrooms. I have had hundreds of them. There is never any privacy. .

I have a lot of dreams about trying to find a private place to go to the bathroom, too. I know why that is a trigger to me. My parents didn't let us have any locks on any of the doors and would bust in on us, no matter where we were or what we were doing.

Do you have any idea why you have so much trouble with them?

 

[Serene]

I, too, was not allowed to lock the door. Even when did lock it, it could be forced open if you turned the knob hard enough. I have a real obsession about locks. When I close a door I lock it as soon as I possibly can as if it is one fluid move...closelock. I remember running from my brother and as soon as I got to my bedroom I would slam the door and lock it. He was faster than me so I had to put all the energy I could muster into getting to that door in time to get it locked.

Just the other day I tried leaving my front door unlocked for a little while, trying to desensitize myself. I decided very quickly that I wasn't ready to do that.

 

[Reclusive]

I've had the toilet dream, too. Where you can't find anywhere suitable to go. I've had a lot of friends who have had the dream, too. I'm not positive what it means, but I'm sure it has something to do with feeling vulnerable and exposed - kinda like the naked dreams (I don't have those - I have toilet dreams and teeth dreams).

I had no issues growing up with locks on the doors. We weren't allowed to lock our bedroom doors but our parents were always polite and knocked and waited for us to come get the door.

 

[angel2write]

I remember running from my brother and as soon as I got to my bedroom I would slam the door and lock it. He was faster than me so I had to put all the energy I could muster into getting to that door in time to get it locked.

I had a flashback recently. I had pulled the dresser against the door and was bracing my feet against the dresser and my back against the wall while my father tried to push it open and cursed at me and threatened to come around to the house to the window...

Man, it's no wonder we have nightmares.

Did you ever do the thing where you ran into the room, closed & locked the door (as you say, in one fluid motion) and then had to stand there for a while with a death grip on the lock trying to hold it closed while they rattled the door knob and tried to get in?

We have the kind of child-safe locks at our house that you can open with a piece of wire (instead of just turning the knob two or three times). My third child has recently learned to unlock them, and has triggered the hell out of me a couple times by appearing in the bathroom while I was taking a shower.

I guess my advice for you, Serene, would be don't give up on the desensitization thing just because it was really hard. Maybe you can find a smaller baby step to start with? Leave it unlocked, but stand right beside it to guard? Or post someone you trust on the other side? Sorry it's so hard. (sympathetic hug).

 

[Serene]

Did you ever do the thing where you ran into the room, closed & locked the door (as you say, in one fluid motion) and then had to stand there for a while with a death grip on the lock trying to hold it closed while they rattled the door knob and tried to get in?

Our bathroom door was that way. It could be unlocked from the outside just by turning it really hard. I used to try to hold it and keep my brother from turning it. I don't really remember what would happen when he got the door opened. I think I would scream for my mom and she would just dismiss it. I cannot describe the hate I had in my gut for my brother. I truly wanted him dead.

Thanks for the hug. I will try to come up with baby steps in trying to desensitize. It just feels so exhausting to try do deal with my lock issues. Maybe I'll look for a thread that talks about desensitizing. If I can't find one maybe I'll start one.

 

[OKRADLAK]

My nightmares are very weird now. It is like this. Because I am still having trouble with talking about specifics, I will use an example. If you were hit repeatedly with a Sponge Bob DVD, every time and you got very distressed with that show.

And then in the dream, Sponge Bob is just there. He is not hurting me. The dvd is just playing . In fact, he is a friend to me in my dream and we go on an adventure.

I cannot figure this out. The thing which may be benign to most people, but which became malignant to me in real life has become benign again in my dream and even my friend in the dream .

But I wake up mad, very upset, very unnerved because, of course, it is not benign in real life.

 

[freakofnurture]

Did you ever do the thing where you ran into the room, closed & locked the door

Yeah, here.

My nightmares involve being chased up into my room, not being understood, being tortured with expectations, being followed by a needy horde and being back at my p*rent's house in general. I also have nightmares of zombies following me and of shark attacks.

I used to dream that I was wrongly suspected of dealing drugs and/or killing someone and had to run from the cops. I have no idea what that was all about O.o