No Contact Letter

[NatBird]

Ending the relationship with family or key members can be a tremendously brave and loving act.

It's a good idea to get clear why, keep the letter to the facts, (although if omitting feeling is part of your pattern it might be good to include the core ones) share with a trusted friend or your T to get feedback, then meditating, praying or whatever your thing is before sending it off with Love.

I don't know if ending this relationship will end it with the rest of your family. In my case it was walking away from all and this is no joke, especially when ones ability to form relationships is F*&d

I sent letters six years ago (in which I also confronted people about their direct abuse and collusion) and have not had contact for eight years in total.
Meeting my brother recently showed me 'leaving them behind' was the best thing to do. (I had doubted this for some time)
He was totally ruined and had no idea why - he kept saying through tears 'I don't know what's wrong with me'.

Further down the road I can also see that because I didn't grieve, fully acknowledge the losses there was no real completion/ending. I'm now working very slowly towards face to face conversations involving how I feel, my amends and coming to a more full/completed ending. However the initial separation did help some.

 

[Thizette]

No, unfortunately, I have lost my entire extended family as a result. I never knew much of my father's...

My dad's family pretty much stopped speaking to me after I cut him off. I made it very clear I was willing to have a relationship with them, but they passively ignore any mention I make of coming to town. We're friends on facebook, but I think that's mostly just symbolic at this point. For me it's because I won't remove them. I'm still willing to have a relationship with them. If they don't want it, that's on them. By staying open to them online, that's my way of demonstrating that it's on them.