Friday
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Sometimes. Yes. Absolutely.
OldSchool advice about what to do if one's just had a nasty shock works remarkably well. Day 1-2 Take the day off work / off responsibility. Make a cup of tea and a nice breakfast. Bathe. Lay about in bed. Have lunch by my bedside, and dinner ordered in. Sleep away half the day for no particular reason. (Otherwise known as mentally and emotionally exhausted). Allow myself to think about every aspect of the thing as much as I want, but IF I start getting hysterical/enraged, a little bit of a tonic/sedative/medicinal brandy (not all 3! Just something/anything mildly soothing without being all STFU! Zombie! Face plant). Read. Take another bath. Eat early & go back to bed. Then take a half day or whole day the next day, depending on energy levels. Still shocky / numbing = being careful not to overdo, but some time spent being active is a good thing. Ideally? Spend about half of it being responsible & half of it socializing or on one's own depending on where one gains one energy from (extrovert/introvert). Day 3-4 do something active/enjoyable to raise one's spirits.
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None of this is my natural inclination. What I like BEST? Throwing myself into hard work or adrenaline. That can ALSO work, if I'm not doing it to nail the coffin lid on whatever happened, but burning off some steam / clearing my head / finding my chutzpah/oomph/balance. I also tend to eat more & sleep more, if I'm doing this in a healthy rather than distract-destruct-distract-self-harming-unhealthy fashion. It's essentially the high energy version of the above. And still follows OldSchool advice (she's an active girl / he's a strapping lad, staying in bed all day would be a trial, a spot of healthful exercise is just the ticket for her/his type). Ditto, it's a few days of altering normal, and a gradual return to full duty.
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Both of those 2 things can be taken to extremes & extremes almost always equal unhealthy. A month spent laying about in bed speaks to depression & despair, not gentle handling. Cracking the whip and forcing oneself busy-busy-busy, intensity, think of anything but... Screams of displaced <everything>, and it's gonna bite me in my ass sooner rather than later as I burn myself out.
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I can't remember if you're a parent off the top of my head... But both of the healthy versions are much like one does with small children when something big has happened and they're all discombobulated :confused: . Well! Why don't we just stay in and watch movies, order in a pizza, cancel our plans and take a calming day in? Or Well! Why don't we go to the park/beach/other fun place and just take the day off? Maybe pick up some tacos from the truck and have a day out? ... And then just go very easy on them for the next few days, making sure they get plenty of rest, good food, and don't push them too hard (or there will be an easily avoidable meltdown).
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All those things are immediately following something happening. Where I've found PTSD complicates things (one of the ways, anyhow), is that while the first few days are über important? It generally stretches into a few weeks of being "off" or symptoms running hotter than normal. I don't do day 1-3 for a few weeks, but I do go to extra effort to be kind to myself, when I'm being smart. Either taking more time to relax, or more time to be active, as I'm so inclined. Cutting myself some slack. Cough. I'm reeeeally not good at that. TBH I'm not good at any of this, when it's myself I'm dealing with. But I've been lucky enough to be dating a few blokes who insisted on this course of action (aka where I learned it), and when I'm doing well I usually remember to employ it. When I'm doing badly, I just plain forget. If it's me. I remember for other people (kids, family, friends, etc.). I just forget to do it for myself, or am pissed off at myself and decide I don't rate it. Or I'm mixing up my past and my present and acting like I don't have TIME to take care of myself (suck it up!), when I sure as hell do... My head is just in a different decade. :facepalm:
