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No idea what happened.... Recieved housing support & a job offer.

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It has just been a few days since I have been really taking in what all of this means to me. I can't even tell you how this is. My head has stopped spinning, I have no need to do the constant 'figuring out' that has been my 24.7 reality this past decade. I have stopped constantly looking for danger.

Based on my past I can now see that it was the homeless thing that had me constantly triggered. I am walking around with the peace inside of me that defined me prior to the PTSD. For any of you who wonder whether 'you are still in there', you are. Keep looking. I don't know if any of you can relate to that but if you can.... keep the faith.

Thanks so much for all of your kind words. @LuckyLee, I haven't been able to cry yet. I thank you for shedding those tears for me. It warmed my heart you saying that. Perhaps one day I will be able to release this all through my tears, but it is my tears that got me hospitalized while the DV was going on and I haven't been able to cry since as it was so terrifying at the time.
Now? I was out with friends tonight, went to a park (me!) yesterday with a friend. Tomorrow meeting another friend. I haven't sorted out my food issues yet. I think my energy is pretty low after all of this and I am shocked that I hadn't gone insane through all of this.... but here I am.

Peaceful. Nothing to figure out anymore. It was a long time coming, and I can't even think of the words to say to my peeps who have helped me along the way. I am hoping they understand. They may not. But for now? I am not expecting much from myself. I am just looking around trying to figure out what I want my life to be now that this is all over and am focused on rebuilding 'me'.

I so appreciate you all.
 
Oh Yay! shimmerz :hug: I am so, so, happy to read that finally something solid and good is happening for you. You so, so deserve a decent break my friend. Not being homeless anymore is such a big deal!!

Life will be so much better for you and you will springboard into peace and stability. Couldn't happen to a better person. Sending you happy, happy :hug::joyful: big, big :)
 
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Freida said:
Your timing is .....incredible.
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It's just been a question that I was never able to answer. About three years back I lost a ton of my triggers. I was 'back' to a degree and had a sense of this but this time around I can literally feel the part of myself that I have related to most of my life. It is so comforting. And important information I think to know that I hadn't completely lost myself.

This time around, that sense of peace - I had forgotten how much I was that. I am so excited to feel it again. I am thankful if it helps anyone. Best of wishes to you Frieda in pulling that part of you that feels lost to you back to the forefront again.

All of you, really, thank you for your kindness. I so appreciate your support. :)
 
Thanks so much for asking LuckiLee. Life is going surprisingly well. Everything has turned around with opportunities popping up all over the place. My head is calm, my world is peaceful.

Just for the record.... any of us with PTSD who don't have a solid sense of the necessities of life? Work on those first and foremost. In my experience, it was literally impossible to be calm without basic needs being met.
 
We are in a house of our own and are "securely housed" for the first time in like forever. It's not really any more secure? It seems like it though. The last place we had we were losing for probably 4 years. Nobody would rent to us. It was a real Hail Mary we got this place at all. I was not homeless, but I certainly wasn't feeling safe most of the time either.

So I'm so happy for you, you choked me up also. Your post was very moving. Thank you so much.
 
Been wondering too Shimmerz.
shimmerz said:
Everything has turned around with opportunities popping up all over the place
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That is trying amazing. So good to hear
shimmerz said:
In my experience, it was literally impossible to be calm without basic needs being met.
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I guess tell a hypervigilant brain and body stuck in threat mode that all is fine when even the basics are not then it isn't going to be that successful. Makes sense. Maybe from physical safety and then after that emotional safety.
 
I’m so pleased for you @shimmerz ❤️ What an opportunity for you!

And you are right about that sense of security. I have a safe home but I get super stressed if our tanks are low on water. We are not connected to mains and rely on them 100%. It’s my partner’s responsibility to keep an eye on them and clean filters, gutters etc. When he’s stuffed this up and left us low on water I get stressed beyond description. Same with storing dry wood for Winter.
 
shimmerz said:
My head is calm, my world is peaceful.
Click to expand...

^^So very pleased to know that you are in your home and you are experiencing this. It is amazing isn't it! Did you find it took you a while for your body and brain to catch onto the fact that you were no longer transient?

shimmerz said:
it was literally impossible to be calm without basic needs being met.
Click to expand...

^^This is just so true.

I hope all of those wonderful opportunities keep popping up for you. :hug:
 
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