No Longer Myself.

[Elena Farely]

Ever since I attempted suicide a just over a month ago, I've seen a hard decline in my moods and emotions. I am consistently crying, feeling over emotional, I can't handle myself around people I really truly care about, my head is never in the right place and my medications aren't doing much help. I've got to make another appointment with my Psychiatrist soon because I really confine in her and trust her.

My head isn't in the right place. My family treats me like absolute crap still and it just makes me feel worse.

I visited my partner a few times and I end up leaving less than 2-3 hours after being there. We were being intimate today and I just felt like he was only using me. I started crying halfway through but he didn't notice. Afterwards, I just felt very uncomfortable and used.

I just don't feel like myself anymore. Just wondering if anyone else has felt this way before.

 

[piratelady]

Several years ago I tried to kill myself. I lived in another state than my family at the time. My mom flew out and immediately tried to move me back to live with her. My grandparents tried to get me to move in with them. I didn't want anything to do with any of them. I was so depressed before I attempted suicide. After my failed attempt I felt even more depressed but a lot of anger as well.

I did a lot of stupid things because of all of that anger and depression. Eventually I moved to be closer to my grandparents. Still, the feelings did not pass, no matter how hard I tried to "fix" things. Over time, I did start to feel better. I can't really pin point what I did to change things. It was more like a passing storm, and the sun just started to shine again.

My point is that - with help you will start to feel better. It just takes time and perseverance. I am glad you have a psychiatrist that you can work with to try to adjust your meds. I would suggest a therapist as well; assuming you don't do talk therapy with the psychiatrist. I don't really know how psychiatry appointments work, as I've never been to one. If you can find someone to talk to, to work through those emotions, it will help immensely.

Take care. You will get through these difficult times.

 

[Elena Farely]

Thank you very much for your reply, Pirate. It really helped.

My psychiatrist stays in contact with my therapist with what is happening with me and after my 6 doctor recommended sessions, they'll probably talk it over and see what is best for me.

I'm just kinda over all the bullcrap right now. My head is in a million pieces. And it's hard to think straight sometimes.

But thanks again :3

 

[piratelady]

Well, I hope you start to feel better soon. It is good that you are getting help, and in time it will get better. It takes time to come back from such a deep depression, unfortunately we can't snap back right away. Take care and I'm here if you ever need to talk. (((HUGS)))