No More " I Love You" 's?

[You can get through it]

Hi Angus

To have your love constantly tested in this way is cruel; PTSD is by its very nature a destructive force, therefore to sometimes have our destructive thoughts confirmed by the action of others may give those destructive thoughts some validity, and so the vicious cycle of crash and burn starts all over again.

On the other side of the coin you also have needs and it sounds to me that you’re display of caring emotions are being manipulated and used against you, even if only by the very fact you are a rock in the relationship, and as so perceived as being unbreakable; which may give license for your wife’s behavior but will do nothing for your own esteem and may only serve to escalate your own feelings of guilt for not being able to change the situation. Sometimes we have to accept there are things that just can’t be fixed if there is not a will on both sides to follow things through, I believe you are right to fight for your marriage but not to the cost of all else, that being your own sanity and wellbeing.

My advice for what it is worth is to stand back and wait for her to come to you, not easy I know but to seek rational reassurance from a non rational mind is out of the question at this point and only therapy and the test of time will give the answers to your heart felt questions

Steve

 

[Angus McGee]

My advice for what it is worth is to stand back and wait for her to come to you,

Yep, I think you're right.

Not much else to do at this point. Except pray, of course.

I feel like my wife has been taken away from me through no fault of my own.

It may sound childish, but it's just not fair. Had I done something stupid, then yeah, this may make more sense. My biggest crime in all of this was just that I was ignorant of the signs of her imminent PTSD relapse.

That's hardly a capitol offense.

 

[You can get through it]

Angus

You must understand this situation is not your fault, you are a victim of circumstance and it is not a crime to love your wife but it would be criminal to allow the effects of PSTD to take you down too.

You need prove nothing to anyone else as your actions in how you move forward with this awful situation shall be your true judge, so have faith in your own judgment and you won't go far wrong as guilt in these circumstances is a misplaced emotion. We all make mistakes and understanding this is what gives us our conscience which is a good human trait to possess. To look for reasons when there are none to be found will destroy who you are and this will serve for nothing.

Steve

 

[Angus McGee]

Wise words, Steve.

Thank you.

I just miss her. And, it seems that not only will she be gone emotionally now, but physically as well. Things are going from bad to worse.

A little reprieve would be great, but from where I'm standing, all I see is a deep, dark tunnel with no light at the end.

I will still move forward. I will not give up on her, or our marriage. I believe that in spite of the pain, in spite of the fact that the whole world is looking at me with a puzzled look wondering why I continue on, that I am doing the right thing.

I don't know if she will ever realize how hard this has been, but it will all be worth it if she comes out of the other side of the treatment if not healed, then on her way to healing, and with the ability to love me again.

 

[OKRADLAK]

(((((((((((((ANGUS))))))))))))))))

I just hope that she comes back to you. You are such a loyal person. PTSD is just so overwhelming. I hate it for you, too!!

 

[Angus McGee]

That it is, OKRADLAK.

Thanks for the hug.

The weather is finally going to cooperate tomorrow, so I'm taking a big portion of the day, and going out on the motorcycle. Fortunately, I live in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, and the roads are nice and curvy too.

I'll see if I can take some pictures, and post them on here when I get back.