No One Else Wants To Hear That He Was Depressed, And I Feel Worthless

[TheSpydah]

So I am here, and meeting people whom I have never seen, and some of which had not seen him in years. I am the one who had known him for the shortest amount of time. I feel like I have nothing to contribute, nothing he used to say that can be shared as they would like it to be. So I don't think I can say anything, and that on Friday he will go as he had lived, stuck in whom he was five or seven years ago, untouched by my existence. I wish I had not come. I wish I had not even met him, so he could be alive. I wish I were not alive.

 

[joeylittle]

The gathering is really not for the person who has died. It's for the people who are living with that loss. You lost a wonderful, smart, tortured, struggling, amazing, unique person - and you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Doesn't matter if you knew him shortest - you likely knew him more fully than anyone else.

And your loss is real, your grief is real. If you want to talk about the person you knew and loved - you are allowed that.

I guess I'm trying to say - do what you want, what you need. That's what will matter for you, ultimately. And I bet he'll be listening, whether you go and say it later by yourself, or in front of all these people.

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for it all.

 

[aut555]

So I am here, and meeting people whom I have never seen, and some of which had not seen him in years....

So sorry to hear this. Grieving is so difficult.