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Undiagnosed Non-combat, Military, And Undiagnosed.

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B. W.

New Here
Hello world.
I'm active duty military, and am suffering from something undiagnosed which sounds pretty darn similar to PTSD, but I'm avoiding diagnosing myself because that can lead to a whole host of other issues.

I was involved in a domestic terrorism incident that my branch of service refuses to classify as domestic terrorism, so it's technically non-combat. I began having issues about 2 years ago, and didn't think much of it at the time because we're all very macho, and the few times I brought it up, everyone said "oh, you think that's bad, there was this one time..." and so on and so forth. I finally had a very severe memory that ended with me yelling a lot at my wife, out the window at the city and state that I reside in, and went to see a counselor.

So I'm in a state of limbo, where my counselor says I have PTSD, my regular civilian doctor got scared and wouldn't talk to me anymore, and my bosses have removed me from all important work because they are afraid of flashbacks when I'm carrying a gun, etc. I'm supposed to see a military or VA psych sometime soon, but in the meantime, I'm stuck doing more or less nothing.

So there you have it. I'm hoping that maybe I can find some coping strategies, or at least some people to talk to; my wife is very understanding and sympathetic, and the rest of my family and friends are half a world away, and I keep avoiding everyone I work with because they remind me of everything that happened.

--BW
 
Welcome to the forum! Sorry about your situation though. The military seems to have kind of a twisted view of this condition. They "want you to seek help", but seeking help can create more problems. There are definitely a lot of people here to talk to and who will understand. There are also a lot of other resources here in the form of some good articles and media. I hope you find things that are useful for you. Personally, it's been kind of a relief just to know that I'm not all alone in the world as somehow uniquely crazy.

Wishing you only good outcomes!
 
Hello B.W. and welcome to the forum.

First of all, thank you for your service to this country.

I am sorry that the other guys minimized your trauma and started comparing stories. What is just a story to some is trauma to another. It is never helpful to compare things like that. We all experience things differently.

You are being a great advocate for yourself trying to get help for your symptoms. It is so great that you have such a supportive and caring wife. That can make a world of difference.

There is so much good information and support on this forum. I hope you find it helpful.
 
Limbo Land, very familiar with it. I don't like it; causes anxiety. You sound like you are doing every thing you can do to help your condition PTSD or not. Congratulations on your efforts and successes! Thank you for all you do and then some. This is a great, informative forum. Hope it helps you.
 
Welcome to the Forums, man :) Yep. Helluva lot of good knowledge & resources here. Dive on in!

The Ptsd Cup Explanation ... f*cking useful this. Hands down.

There's also the PTSD tab on the homepage now, so I won't link it, it's easy to find :D There's a PDF link at the bottom that's easier to read, imo.

This next one is long, a hell of a lot of info to process, and I would personally hold off a bit. But it's also damn useful. Back when I was in we did a fast & dirty way of exposure therapy (didn't call it that) to make it so we could still work in the field... And after I got out I did a slower version of it to re acclimate myself to crowds and everything else that was sending me off the rez. By slower, Instead of a long weekend getting triggered and tackled to the ground, it took about 2 years for crowds, other things varied by a few weeks to a few months. But a helluva lot of active duty personnel only come on the forum a few times. Just wanna make sure this is in your kit for later in case you don't stick around, although hope you do.

Link Removed

SemperFi
 
Update: One month later (almost)
I got a referral to see a neuropsychologist and was diagnosed with PTSD, major depressive disorder, brain trauma and (possibly) Meniere's disease, the latter of which seems unrelated but might be caused by the head trauma.

Ain't military life fun?
 
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