Other Not Even Sure If This Topic Goes Here But I Didnt See One For Murder

[judypieking]

Im kind of having an attack right now. Its been happening a lot over the last 14 year but its very flamed up at this point due to my legal troubles. I watched the father of my 2 youngest daughters get shot by Tucson Police back in 2001 at the in and up motel. He was shot 49 times despite the description from news reporters and police who say 12 times or 4 times like is that even making it better? I know how many times he was shot because I was there!!! I was the maid at the complex so I got to see the room after and our family worked at the morgue who cremated him so police can say all they effing want... I hear the gunshots like its happening to me over and over. I hear myself screaming so loud and the tears on my face... The fear I felt then and I moved to Chicago for the last 12 years and came back to Tucson last May and Sep 5th-14 I was crying in front of a police officer. I saw him and became afraid (I was already afraid because of an earlier thing with a guy who was mean to me). When I saw the cop I just forgot all about what had just happened to me and focused on the death of Ryan... i live in fear now every day .. Im on disability from work.... I think about getting killed by police over and over in my mind.
You can look up Ryan Farr Tucson 2001 police shooting called brutal murder if you want to read the article

I am on a crap load of medication now and I have had my period since March 1st ... I think 20 days in a row is pretty bad and no sign of stopping....

Best thing in my life is my mom whom I am staying with but her boyfriend of 25 years is dying (told 6 months) from Drinking

something else beautiful .... I got a service dog and she is helping me at night with my nightmares.
This is all I can type for now.. It takes a lot out of me to do this ...Thanks

 

[Judypie]

I just looked back at my post and I must have been pretty upset because I forgot to say when I was in front of the police officer that he beat me up for telling him about how I felt that they had killed Ryan.. I cant say much more because after he beat me up he charged me with assault on an officer and My Trial isn't for 3 more months...

 

[J.Nem]

I just read about it like you asked. I am very sorry. That is a terrible weight of memory to carry.

You hang on tight to your precious service dog, she is a gift from God.
I am doing much the same right now.
I prayed for you just now, can't do much else. God bless you.