Not much time left

[neartheend]

Since i was born i always felt left out
I didnt really have anyone or a friend at all i didnt have a problem in school at that point since i was just a kid i didnt really have much of a problem infact it was a big problem all kids shouldve have friends be talkative especially when u they dont have any disorder that stops them from doing so.

The more i mature the harder and more depressed i feel when i was about 9 or 10 i would research about depression for the first time because that night i felt so bad i couldnt sleep from that point on i had insomnia i cant sleep properly and i barely sleep anyways

Now at this point im about 17 i enjoy nothing in my life im still friendless not because i cant because i simply dont want to i dont enjoy talking to people or going out
I dont enjoy anything
Im abusive and extremely homicidal

I dont know what should i even do anymore?

 

[Movingforward10]

Life shouldn't be so hard. Things can get better.

I'm wondering about your family and if you have had therapy?

 

[neartheend]

Life shouldn't be so hard. Things can get better.

I'm wondering about your family and if you have had therapy?

No i didnt and they dont gaf

 

[Movingforward10]

Maybe reach out for some therapy.
It might really help. .with parents who can't/won't care it is very hard.

I don't know where you are in the world but there may be some youth mental health services that you can have access to.

In the UK, it would be best to go to your GP and tell them what life is like.

 

[neartheend]

Maybe reach out for some therapy.
It might really help. .with parents who can't/won't care it is very hard.

I don't know where you are in the world but there may be some youth mental health services that you can have access to.

In the UK, it would be best to go to your GP and tell them what life is like.

My Gp r dead theres no mental health services here

 

[PlainJane]

I think a good step is to talk to a medical professional. They may have extra resources to guide you to for your area. Is there a community center near you? Sometimes they have resources to utilize as well.