Not Sure If I Have PTSD - Besides I Have The Perfect Life, Right?

[Marlene]

What I don't understand is how I could not be bothered by these things all my life, and now suddenly they completely rule my life.

Awakening...first, welcome to the forum. This is a good, safe place to be.

The quote above is something that I can really relate to. It took me almost 30 years past my initial trauma for it to come to the surface and demand my complete attention. I felt the same way that you do. You might find that as you dig and delve into your traumas that you'll find other points in your life where the PTSD has tried to push through, but you were able to suppress it through various means.

BTW-what you've written makes perfect sense. There's a lot of folks here who understand where you're at and why you feel like you do.

Again...welcome.

Lisa

 

[Awakening]

Thanks you all making perfect sense.

I see my therapist shortly, I will attempt to be brave and ask her straight out. She is a trauma specialist she has 'ptsd' listed in her area of expertise, so I'm assuming she can give me some idea if it's post traumatic stress or ptsd. Although, I thought in Australia only psychiatrists can give a diagnosis?

My boss has rung me to query some of my behaviour, lack of performance, days absent from work. My boss said they will make allowances if I'm ill, but if I'm not ill then what's going on. They are a supportive & open-minded employer (in particular mental health issues, family/work life balance) but I'm reluctant to be 'the girl with a mental health problem'. However, I'm running out of excuses.

But yeah, if you have diabetes then you go & get tested so you know what your dealing with. Then you can look at treatment options depending on the type of diabetes you have whether it's diet/exercise alone or whether medication is required.

I really like denial though!

P.S. Thank you for saying this is a good, safe place to be. For some reason I found that particularly comforting.

 

[anthony]

That is correct, though trauma therapists know PTSD when they see it, and will assess you for it to see whether or not their suspicions are confirmed. Once they know you have it, they will send you to a shrink for the paper diagnosis. Therapists will generally do it first though, so shrinks time is not wasted.

 

[Awakening]

I chickened out. Couldn't ask. I have no idea why. I mean I'm on this site. But I just couldn't ask.
Mostly because it was a pretty intense session. Then I thought about asking and just felt PANIC. Freak out.
Not sure why. I have it or I don't. I'm living what I'm living. Ugghhh, this sucks. I might post something about what's bothering me in PTSD.
Hope it's okay I'm still hanging around until I find the courage to ask again. I'm so scared.
I will try again this week. Promise.

 

[Deleted member 541]

Awakening,

Try to relax, take a few deep breaths.......Breath deep and think calming things ok.....You're safe here. What is going on??? Can you talk about it???

Wendy

 

[anthony]

As wendy stated, just relax, its ok, no one died or lost a limb. You know what you have to do in order to know, and when you're ready, you will ask. Intense sessions happen, and most people don't always think about everything else, nor do they usually want to introduce more issues into an already intensive session. You did just fine. When you're ready, you will ask.

 

[Awakening]

You guys made me smile. Breathing. Perspective.
Again, as logically as I know intelluctually that everything is fine, my body is off doing another thing at the moment.
I was like this yesterday when I posted this and again today.
I don't know what's going on.
All I know is I'm in the middle of one of my freakouts. It's like I've taken a laxative, I'm in the loo that much. Colleagues are irritating me, and I feel like the walls are closing in on me. Jumpy, startled. Feel ready to punch someone's head in. No good reason for any of it. No threats, no pressing deadlines. Everything is fine.
My brain says over & over again, its okay, you are safe, yet my body is doing it's own thing.
It's so frustrating.
Thanks for giving me the time to explore this pts vs ptsd thing. I'll see how I go next session. I guess I'm worried that this site, my T, everyone is going to abandon me if I don't get this figured out right this instance.
Thanks everyone!

 

[wildfirewildone]

:hello: Welcome to the community....Just like several have said before....RELAX :loopy: You don't need to be in a rush or have to "do it" right....No such animal.... :smile: Post when you feel comfortable.....PEACE FOR THE PLANET

 

[pandora]

Hi Awakening and welcome to the forum. I could have been speaking myself in a couple of your posts. The difference is i have done so much research and have come to a new understanding about this disorder. It sounds like you qualify.LOL, I do 100 and 1%. just my perspective. Take care and I hope you continue to heal as you learn and meet others that feel exactly the way you do ( I know it sounds hard to beleive but there are a lot of people here that suffer as we do) i know i definately don't feel so alone anymore. Take Care!

 

[cookie]

welcome to the forum, awakening.
cathy

 

[opabob]

Hi Awakening:

My name is Bob, and I'm new here also. And I too am living my "perfect" little life. Welll, at least I am at and doing exacly what I was praying for three years ago.

Breath, relax, seems to be the order of the day here. Maybe some good relaxation techniques will help. A friend of mine suggested that I learn "Progressive Relaxation". Someone here wrote in saying they use that technique, and they can stop an anxiety/panic attack almost before it starts.

HUGS