Not sure what to do

[trying to heal]

so im due to see my T on Thursday. She has put me on monthly visits since getting out of hospital (late March). I was doing really well at first but over the last few months I've been slipping back to where i was before Christmas. On my last visit my T said she has been too nice to me and from here on she is going to push me and set me homework with repercussions if I don't do the work. Since seeing her last I have been super sick with 2 bouts of bronchitis over the last 5 weeks I haven't done any of the work which involved me journaling whenever I was socially active with the expectation that I would purposely plan outings at least twice a week. Because ive been sick I haven't left the house or had people over cause I didn't want to share the bugs. Ive been to uni to do a couple of classes but usually ive had to leave early cause I wasn't well enough.

So my dilemma is should I postpone my appointment as I dont want to disappoint my T by not doing any work and just wait a few more weeks so when I finally get better I can do the work she set or should I go anyway and talk to her about how down ive gotten and some of the self harm stuff that has been creeping back in. I just hate the idea of being such a big disappointment or her deciding that im not being compliant. I just have no motivation anymore. I am struggling so much to do my uni work and i just am feeling completely blah about an upcoming holiday.

Oh I really don't know.

 

[Deadman]

I suggest going and telling the truth. Its not the easy option but its probably the best.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I feel like doing what you dread most is always the right choice lol. Maybe just write all of that out and hand it to her at the start. :)

 

[Suzetig]

On my last visit my T said she has been too nice to me and from here on she is going to push me and set me homework with repercussions if I don't do the work.

What does she mean "repercussions"? She's your therapist, not your mum. If her tough love approach leaves you feeling anxious she needs to change it. I'd go and be telling her that you don't need to be punished for not doing therapy the way she wants you to.

 

[barefoot]

I would go to the appointment (so long as I felt well enough to go) and be truthful. Though I also don't think you need to give her loads of apologies and justifications for why you haven't done your homework.

What does she mean by "repercussions"? That sounds very punitive to me - as though there will be a punishment of some kind for not doing as you were told?