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Not Sure What To Say About This But

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Gs172003

Diamond Member
I hate and I dont like this fact.... Hate my father in law. He triggers me to the point that I'm a raging lunatic and I'm not entirely sure why. I've been given a few ideas how to deal with the emotions but I want to know how to figure out what it is about this man that makes me not only want to strangle him but keep my family away from him?
 
Just to fill you all in on the kind of man he is....

He left eight kids behind in two countries..

He encouraged my husband to use porn when he told him he was an addict

He tried to encourage my husband to see another woman

He made an inappropriate comment to my daughter on fb

He would instigate arguments between me and my kids

He would instigate arguments between me and him on fb and then get mad when I'd unfriend him.

He would ask my husband " don't you want your own kids" on a routine basis.


The rest of his family has caused issues but not like this and I can say I don't care for them but I don't " hate " them.

What gives?
 
What would your life be like, if he wasn't in it, and everything associated with him wasn't?

Is the point I try to get to, about people I have so strong feelings about in my life. Not care for them; make them disperse entirely, and not mean a thing to me.
 
This guy is a total instigator. Like he lives for this. Okay, toxic vampire, sludge monster. And you got him for a father in law? That's some seriously screwed up shxt. With people like this, l anticipate all their shitty little logic so that l am one step beyond their next action, thought, hostage behavior moves. Just out smart him, you will feel better and on top of your game.
 
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This guy is a total instigator. Like he lives for this. Okay, toxic vampire, sludge monster. And you got...
I stay the crap away from him. I don't talk to him...see him...etc.

But. Here's what is terrible. When my husband goes to see him him by himself... Him and my son together? Ok. My girls? Oh heck no. Him alone?That's when the claws come out. That's when the alarms and the craziness starts.
 
Is there a reason why you are ever compelled to be alone with him?

Often reconciliation rather than avoidance is ideal, but the examples you gave are evidence not just of a misunderstanding in the relationship, but of serious character issues on his side. I absolutely understand why you don't trust him (with your kids or yourself). Aside from how you feel emotionally toward him, that sounds like a wise judgement call, and not something you need to doubt yourself about.

How clearly have you defined your/your family's boundaries where he is concerned?

Wait, I just re-read your message. Do you mean that you don't like when he is alone with your husband or alone with you?
 
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