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I recently remarked to my therapist that my wife was my best therapist. She had no training what so ever in in therapy, she was just "life smart". When I was depressed, she cheered me, she had a wonderful sense of humor and would soon have me chuckling. When my ever-present, life destroying anxiety was raging, she was the calm port in the storm.

I was defeatist, self-deprecating and with low self esteem. I would sit sometimes and ask myself how I got such a wonderful woman. But I evened up the score, later in our marriage, when she started having so much trouble with her diabetes. After her last eye surgery and she had become completely blind, I came and sat beside her, grabbed her hand and told her everything would be alright. After some tears, she related to me that her room mate, who had also just gone blind as well, had only just had a baby, had her husband come to the foot of her bed and announced that he was leaving her and taking the child with him.

My first thought was to go find the son of a bitch and beat the crap out of him. My second thought was that there was no way in hell I was going to abandon her in this her time of great need.

Morale of the story...if you find one that can learn to live with your beast, she's worth your best effort to keep her.

Sarg
 
Fallen, what the lads above have said. Plus, we all need to get smashed now and then, like Angle said, given our background, it's not surprising.
I have found the most important thing is to talk to my girl. Let her know what's going on. She wants to understand and even forgives the occasional lapse, especially if she knows what's in my head at the time.
Funny thing is, the better the understanding, the less it happens. She's learnt, and put so much effort into, living with me. Just talk, mate.
 
Hey Fallen. Welcome back. Missed this thread. Drinking. Ja. I know about it. I got various conditions for drinking. Sometimes I can go out. Good attitude and all and have a few drinks, might even talk to someone. No problem.(good) Other times, I just want to hide indoors and have as much of a bender as money can buy. That can last up to a few days. (bad) Then there are the times where I am just on a mission to get as drunk as possible in as little time as possible. Very ugly. (more bad)

It rolls with the waves for me. I go off it for months. Easy to crawl into that bottle. Painful crawling out. That memory keeps me off it a bit. But as we all know. When we are "there" we are there. Tough not to try and kill the pain with some spirits.

Wagon
 
Well, said, Wagon. It's so easy to crawl into that bottle and I did for many, many years. Totally wasted four years of my life with it. I was a corspe with a hand wrapped around a glass of Jack Danials. It does calm the beast, but you sacrifice both health and time doing it. Funny thing is the one thing that made me stop drinking and probably might have killed me, might kill me. I develpoed an abdominal aneurism that burned like a son of a bitch when I drank. I drank, less, then less and less.

So, I have two beers a day, max. But now I wonder if the next hard coughing spell might be my last! HA!

Sarg
 
im alot like that, i can go for awhile and not drink...then, i want it all the time, sometimes, i guess i am hideing in the bottle and i dont usually care. Now im tring to do better im realizing the pain and stress im causing to my friends and family....not to mention my POLICE RECORD! lol I will do better. i already am....
 
Excellent, Fallenangel! You don't solve this thing in chunks, just little chip after chip.

Sargh
 
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