Childhood Not Typical Physical Abuse

[kxCobra]

Hey everyone

I've been talking with my Therapist, and she says I was physically abused in my later years of my teens. I was emotionally and verbally abused a ton growing up, in a sense my emotional boundaries were constantly ignored and crossed, so when I entered middle school I began to not like to be touched. Not in a weird way, I just didn't like hugs or people touching me. This developed to the point around my sophomore year of high school I would ask my friends to not touch me. It felt like they were controlling me, or taking something from me.

The feeling of them controlling me was very low key though. I started seeing my counselor at the end of Junior year and she told me it was okay to ask my parents to not touch me. It felt reasonable, so I did, and my Mom hated that. She started going out of her way to grab my shoulders or my face and direct where I was going, or to move me. That left me wrecked. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it got to the point it made me gag, and shudder, and feel like I was nothing. I started being hyper vigilant in that I would map out my day and pin point moments where i might have to touch someone and prepare for that. I felt awful, and weird, and whenever I had a bad day where she would touch me a lot I would have awful dreams that night where people just touched me, used me, and even at some points raped me.

I am in no way claiming this to be physical abuse because that feels intrusive to those who were actually hit and physically abused by their abusers, but I'm not really sure what I would call it. I know that it was something due to how it affected me, but I'm not sure what the label for it is. Not that labels matter really, I was just wondering what you're opinions are? Is this physical abuse, or just psychological? Your opinions won't invalidate it for me either way. Thanks!

PS I took an MMPI and the guy who interpreted it said I had an "Almost Clinical Aversion to Touch,"

 

[Symphony]

It would be assault, in my opinion. It's touching without your consent.

 

[Laycee]

Because of the emotions involved, the closeness of the person doing that to you, and simply it was unwanted and not comforting I would say it's abuse. If you had a deathly fear of snakes and your family would throw snakes at you and put them in your room I would feel the same way about it being abuse and not just 'teasing'.
I have the same issues with not wanting to be touched by people.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'm not sure what the label for it is.

Abuse. That's it. Whenever any boundry is crossed in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or fearful or in any way wrong, that is abuse. Just the same as a sexual boundry being crossed. Good touch vs bad touch. Bad touch is a boundry crossed. Not wanting to be touched and it's known but touched anyway = boundry crossed = bad touch = abuse.

My 2 cents.

 

[Abstract]

I don't think it would be physical abuse but I am interested in why you responded like you did. It sounds like the psychological and verbal abuse was so all encompassing that it made you feel invaded and assaulted and when you attempted to have some autonomy over your mind and your body it was ignored and your self was invaded again. I can see why you had the dreams about sexual assault. Just the way I look at it but I think many things that involved physical aspects are psychological abuse. There may not be physical bruises etc but it is still using contact in some form to cause psychological scars. Power control harm lack of respect of the person as autonomous human being. When you are growing up that is very damaging. I'm guessing they didn't allow you to be a person in your own right.

Ignoring your request when it was obviously causing you great distress is cruel and was abusive.