Called all the IOPs the last two weeks after my close girl friend blindsided me. None will work.
I tried therapists and psychiatrists, they betrayed me for the most part too. Dozens of treatments.
No more friends. Abusive family stalking me. Since my friend blindsided me I’m having massive flashbacks.
People at work saying awful things - they’re all manipulative. Was put in a life threatening situation in a foreign country by a boss’ idiotic choice to go out during pro-Palestine protests next to Israel. In order to protect herself politically she tells senior managers in having a mental breakdown (not far off) and they give her a monetary award for “always caring about her employees’ “ safety.
The girl who blindsided me knew my PTSD. Psychology degree. Talked every day for 5 months. All day about everything. Texts “sorry to reply slow, my boyfriend is here to visit this week for my birthday tomorrow”. I wish happy birthday and when she reaches out to talk about herself days later I say polite things about broken trust. Halfhearted apology and “I hope you find some peace soon” - ask if she wants to know anything and she says “Nono I know you’re protecting yourself”. No “are you okay”, no “do you have someone to talk to”, no “oh my goodness I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know you said you can’t trust me but is there anything I can do”. She knew my suicidal thoughts came back when my parents sent a priest to my city 2,700mi away (I never told them where I lived).
Abandoned by parents
Abandoned by teachers
Abandoned by friends
Abandoned by girlfriends
Abandoned by work
Abandoned by therapist
Abandoned by psychiatrist
Abandoned by TMS clinic
Abandoned by Ketamine clinic (this was the worst)
Still, new friends (abandoned), new girls (abandoned), … rinse repeat.
Call all IOPs last two weeks, eight of them. Whole time they play hard to get, making you call and answering all their insurance questions to make sure they get paid before telling you that they’re program is only 9am-1pm and is 1hr away meaning working full time is impossible. When you say it won’t work it’s “oh ok - well good luck in your recovery journey! *click*“
I’m surrounded by 21 years of books, sleep aids, exercise equipment, journals, … decades of failed attempts. It’s hilarious. I can’t stop laughing. What a joke this has all been.
I tried therapists and psychiatrists, they betrayed me for the most part too. Dozens of treatments.
No more friends. Abusive family stalking me. Since my friend blindsided me I’m having massive flashbacks.
People at work saying awful things - they’re all manipulative. Was put in a life threatening situation in a foreign country by a boss’ idiotic choice to go out during pro-Palestine protests next to Israel. In order to protect herself politically she tells senior managers in having a mental breakdown (not far off) and they give her a monetary award for “always caring about her employees’ “ safety.
The girl who blindsided me knew my PTSD. Psychology degree. Talked every day for 5 months. All day about everything. Texts “sorry to reply slow, my boyfriend is here to visit this week for my birthday tomorrow”. I wish happy birthday and when she reaches out to talk about herself days later I say polite things about broken trust. Halfhearted apology and “I hope you find some peace soon” - ask if she wants to know anything and she says “Nono I know you’re protecting yourself”. No “are you okay”, no “do you have someone to talk to”, no “oh my goodness I didn’t mean to hurt you. I know you said you can’t trust me but is there anything I can do”. She knew my suicidal thoughts came back when my parents sent a priest to my city 2,700mi away (I never told them where I lived).
Abandoned by parents
Abandoned by teachers
Abandoned by friends
Abandoned by girlfriends
Abandoned by work
Abandoned by therapist
Abandoned by psychiatrist
Abandoned by TMS clinic
Abandoned by Ketamine clinic (this was the worst)
Still, new friends (abandoned), new girls (abandoned), … rinse repeat.
Call all IOPs last two weeks, eight of them. Whole time they play hard to get, making you call and answering all their insurance questions to make sure they get paid before telling you that they’re program is only 9am-1pm and is 1hr away meaning working full time is impossible. When you say it won’t work it’s “oh ok - well good luck in your recovery journey! *click*“
I’m surrounded by 21 years of books, sleep aids, exercise equipment, journals, … decades of failed attempts. It’s hilarious. I can’t stop laughing. What a joke this has all been.