I've been off of work on medical now for a month already. I should be feeling better because I have been able to focus on my mental health but it seams like all I've managed to do is push stuff off at an alarming rate. Between the new meds they put me on and the supplements I take to help with the anxioty I find my self being able to sleep 16+ hours a day. So I start doing what any rational person would do. Try to find what's making me so tired and maybe cutback on it. Well all that's done is make me anxious and irritable.
It's weird I start to see little glimpses of the man I really am. It's right between the times I'm falling asleep standing up and right before anxioty starts to creep in. It's alittle discouraging to say the least. I can see the frustration building in my fiancee. She says nothing's wrong but I know it's starting to wear on her. But really who can blame her. I know it's not easy and she didn't sign up for any of this. Then I really start to think. Is this really what life's going to be like from now on. I stumble around for the first couple of hours till I hit the sweet spot of thc and black tea. Then have to rush to get as much stuff done before I fall flat on my face again.
I know I could have it alot worse than I do. I'm greatful for ever breath I take but I feel like I'm dragging the ones I love down in the process. Even as everyone sleeps I just feel like getting dressed and just walking as far as I can. The thing stopping me is I don't want to cause anyone to panic and start searching for me.
Is this normal to feel like this when first starting this journey of recovery? Just massive ups and downs threw out the day till everything balances out? Or am i missing something here? If you've made it this far into my rambling thank for sticking it out. Its just hard to put my thoughts together in a coherent manner when my anxioty gets like this.
It's weird I start to see little glimpses of the man I really am. It's right between the times I'm falling asleep standing up and right before anxioty starts to creep in. It's alittle discouraging to say the least. I can see the frustration building in my fiancee. She says nothing's wrong but I know it's starting to wear on her. But really who can blame her. I know it's not easy and she didn't sign up for any of this. Then I really start to think. Is this really what life's going to be like from now on. I stumble around for the first couple of hours till I hit the sweet spot of thc and black tea. Then have to rush to get as much stuff done before I fall flat on my face again.
I know I could have it alot worse than I do. I'm greatful for ever breath I take but I feel like I'm dragging the ones I love down in the process. Even as everyone sleeps I just feel like getting dressed and just walking as far as I can. The thing stopping me is I don't want to cause anyone to panic and start searching for me.
Is this normal to feel like this when first starting this journey of recovery? Just massive ups and downs threw out the day till everything balances out? Or am i missing something here? If you've made it this far into my rambling thank for sticking it out. Its just hard to put my thoughts together in a coherent manner when my anxioty gets like this.