Now It's More Real

[mytai]

So I've been waiting for a sexual assault agency to set me up with accompaniment and advocacy for filing a police report. I finally got a call today that they have set it up for me. Next Friday I go for a meeting with the agency and the volunteer who is accompanying me, just to make sure everything is fine before the reporting process.

I'm getting very nervous and anxious now, receiving that call just made the whole situation very real. I'm really scared now. My T suggested getting a restraining order during the reporting process, but I told my T right then that those don't protect you because he could still come hurt me and just get in trouble after.

I have a session with my T the day before this meeting so I will go over stuff with her too, but I am very scared and anxious now. It's not just a "in the future" thing any more, it's really in motion now.

 

[scout86]

I can relate! I wish there was a way to make this simple and uncomplicated for you! I hope the volunteer turns out to be someone you like and that things go smoothly. Being nervous and anxious seems pretty normal. You have good copying skills and people to support you and those are good things. I think you're tremendously brave and doing the right thing. I hope justice prevails! Good luck!!

 

[Echo]

Mytai, you are one brave lady! How though would he know you are in the process of reporting? Or does it mean right up to trial?

Hugs to Chelsea meanwhile x

 

[mytai]

@scout86, I've met the volunteer before. I requested her. But we are still having a meeting to make sure this is the right person to do this with me, and that the centre thinks we are a good fit for each other. I really hope justice prevails this time around, 4th times the charm right? :sour:

@Echo, He would know because the police would have to contact him to speak with him about the report I would file. They can't just take it to trial without talking to him first. It's living with the fear that I may p*ss him off so much that he hurts me again, either during the process, or if nothing is done and he isn't charged yet again.

Chelsea sends a slurpy kiss back to you.

 

[Echo]

I would hope they'd just go and arrest him and not give him bail for your protection. And then sentence him and lock him up.

I guess the police need to completely clarify their procedures. And if you tell them about these fears, based on what he's done to you in the past, they might have other ways to protect you, so that you feel safe. At the very least, you should be told exactly when they go to see him. But maybe there are panic devices you can install in your flat, wear or a panic number you can ring so you get instant assistance. Or maybe a safe house you can go to prior to arrest.

And just to keep you sane (and not to worry Chelsea), I thought you might like this: [DLMURL]https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/t1/923065_10152192382480987_1518176703_n.jpg[/DLMURL]

 

[Abstract]

You are very brave and I wish you lots of luck.

he could still come hurt me and just get in trouble after.

Personally I don't think this is a good reason not to get a restraining order. Any amount of extra protection is worth it and heaven forbid if it did happen the repercussions on the court case would be worse for him.

Lots of luck.

 

[digger]

but I told my T right then that those don't protect you because he could still come hurt me and just get in trouble after.

This is true, but the main advantage for having a restraining order is that if that did happen and you have to call the police because he has turned up (a) they are more likely to take you seriously if you tell them you've got a restraining order/come out to you quicker, because they want to cover their own arses (and apologies to any decent police officers out there but.... it happens); (b) he will get in a heap more shit for turning up if you do have one than if you don't.

It is not likely I don't think to make his coming after you any more likely, even if it doesn't actually make it any less likely.

Hopefully they might make it a condition of his bail anyway.

 

[Echo]

I agree with digger1 - if it means the police take you more seriously, then go for it. But given how he has treated you in the past, you need as many kinds of protection as you can get in place.

 

[HelenB]

Well done. Though I can not even imagine how hard this must be for you right now, I am so pleased that you are really taking seriously the fact that he does not have the rights to you at all, and know this is such an important thing in all this,

I do also agree with @digger1 and really hope that everythig possible is done to ensure your safety, as this is so important, and really do want everything to be done so that you are taken as seriously as possible by everyone, as this is what you deserve so much.

God Bless
Helen