Relationship O.m.g. What Happened Now?

[Keepingthefaith5]

@Sabrina0712
No worries! No one is perfect. With that being said, your situation sounds more of a personal and "relationship problem" as opposed to a real relationship being directly affected by ptsd and symptoms, whether he is suffering from ptsd. Two, BIG different things. I know you are hurting and before anything you need to fully heal from your previous relationship. I suggest you pick up the book "In the meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant.

 

[Sabrina0712]

Thank you @Keepingthefaith5 I am taking this time to heal myself...but I am no matter what he has said to me in the past or done now...still am worried about him. Just like how he was there for me during my hard times (my cat dying, my younger sister getting a masectomy) I wish he knows I am here for him as a friend.

 

[Sabrina0712]

I am sorry @Born to Run I just saw your post...thank you for being fair :( Bottom line I am just hurting cause I tried everything to please this man n have always been there for him...he has asked me many times for money. I don't want him to like me or continue talking to me for money. As soon as I stuck to my gun n said no to money not once but a few times he has now disappeared. He blames me for ruining the relationship/friendship we have cause I am not giving him money. I never put money out there for him! He was coming out to CO on his own free will before he ever met me.

I am just wanting to know is this the end of a friendship all cause I won't help him like he says to me...will he ever realize what he was asking for was uncalled for. Last thing he said was cause you are not willing to help me you are triggering my PTSD...which I know I am not cause I don't want to enable him but I miss my friend...allot.

It's been a week since I heard from him n we have gotten into bigger arguments than this especially when he wanted me to leave my husband right away but I had my kids, financial responsibilities that I couldn't just jump when he wanted me to n during that time he did disappear n reappear but this time its been the longest.

Sorry for my rant n thank you so much for understanding...I just want to know if he is truly gone or will he be back? I know stupid ques...who would want someone like that asking for money back...I know but I opened up so much to him n for me its a great loss of losing a friend.

 

[Born to Run]

I am real sorry for your pain and confusion. Only time can tell if he is truly gone or will be back. It is difficult sometimes when you have few true friends to support you during life, and come to rely on people that you know are not really healthy for you. As you write, it is as if you lose a friend and a great loss, while you know that this person is not good to you. I would say you would be better off without such a person as in reality it is not really a true friend and deep down you know. I would try to let it go in your own interest to move forward with yourself and your children. Take care.

 

[Sabrina0712]

Thank you so much @Born to Run from the bottom of my heart...I am trying to let go but its hard. I feel used, betrayed n just plain sad but you are right...I need to let go. For the sake of my heart. It's sad to hear him sometimes use his PTSD to make me feel sorry for him when there are real ppl out there who are in pain from PTSD.

I don't wish any pain upon him but I do hope he gets some help besides only popping sleeping pills. I never in my life knew after talking to so many Vets how poorly they are being treated n my heart just goes out to each n every one of them especially their supporters.

I will give an update if he ever contacts me but since I told him clearly there is no money on the table...except me for who I am...I doubt he will ever come back :(

Thank you again Born to Run...thanks for listening.

 

[Born to Run]

Sabrina, you are so welcome. Yes, let us know if the situation changes. Focus on making some new friends, maybe that would help.

 

[Sabrina0712]

Thanks @Born to Run...he did contact me yesterday...talking about his cat (so cute), n about his dad's bday after about half an hour into the conversation he asked me again for money. I just told him accept me for who I am...like I am accepting you w/all your qualms w/no expectations do the same for me n than he said ok will check back in a week n see if you changed your mind! Completely absurd! I am so done...I never ever offered him money...what I make now is for me n my kids. I never said be w/me...here is some money...NEVER! I am sad I have now come to the realization that its all about money for him.
Thank you for being there for me Born to Run n understanding. Thank god I do have a few good support system among my friends. I can't change his thinking but I can change my thinking of what kind of person he is.