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Obsessive Thinking

whiteraven

Diamond Member
I'm honestly not sure where this belongs.

Back during COVID when I was unemployed, I spent a ridiculous amount of time designing and planning an animal sanctuary and shelter. I mean--I designed the building, every room, stuff to go on the walls, came up with fundraising ideas, picked things that were needed in each room, wrote up all the staff and volunteer positions, etc. It was crazy. If I had the money today, I could get started on it tomorrow. I did it because my T posed the question "what would you do if you won the lottery?" and because it was FUN. I also knew that I'd be inheriting money at some point (but no idea when), and the possibility of doing something useful and important to me got me through every day.

Once I figured I wouldn't be able to do that, I stopped. I could have done some more, but I had been very detailed and had planned for just about everything.

Then, I started thinking about maybe having a house and some land, and one or two guest houses on the property, and renting them out, short-term. I, again, planned EVERYTHING, down to what I would stock the houses with.

NOW, it's a new house. I will be inheriting money from two sources, one soon and one I don't know about. I look at houses for sale every day, have made lists of what I want/need, and have done some research on what to look for in a house on a walk-through.

Well, that's morphed into # of birdfeeders I'd have, who I could get to help me move, what needs to be packed vs gotten rid of, what I'd need to buy, etc.

I do this with so many things. I plan down to the smallest detail--things that very seldom come to fruition. I love the planning, but it doesn't usually result in anything. And then I think back on it, and I get so mad at myself because I wasted all that time when I could be doing something useful.

Does anyone else do this? Any idea why?
 
I don’t get mad at myself about it.

It’s like reading/writing a book, listening/playing music, or any other creative pursuit. I enjoy it at the time, and later it helps me speed organize, as I’ve already given a great deal of thought.

I think if I weren’t able to enjoy/appreciate the reality because of the daydreaming? Then it would be a problem. I’ve known a great many people who are chronically unhappy because things don’t live up to their ideas/dreams about how it “should” be.

So I’d expect you’re right up to the line between daydreaming & maladaptive daydreaming?

Depending on whether you’re beating yourself up because of PTSD/Trauma/Thou Shalt Not Be Happy w/o Punishment; or not, and living in your imagination is making your reality miserable.
 

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