Ok, I have to leave...

[Deanna]

Personally I'd give the abilify a try at least, but I have no say in my stepdaughters medical care, and my wife is afraid of/hates most people in clinical positions. All i can do is Express concerns about my son's safety. It's almost like I have an automatic reaction to defend her beliefs even if I dont agree just to keep her from emotionally jumping on me. Things seem so messed up.

At least you both admit you've never tried it So this would be a good start at calming her down. You need to participate in how u feel instead of the conclusion being a one way street, agreed.

 

[EveHarrington]

Personally I'd give the abilify a try at least, but I have no say in my stepdaughters medical care, and my wife is afraid of/hates most people in clinical positions. All i can do is Express concerns about my son's safety. It's almost like I have an automatic reaction to defend her beliefs even if I dont agree just to keep her from emotionally jumping on me. Things seem so messed up.

If the step daughter is dangerous, that’s a reason you could fight for custody.

 

[Nessa7]

Personally I'd give the abilify a try at least, but I have no say in my stepdaughters medical care, and my wife is afraid of/hates most people in clinical positions. All i can do is Express concerns about my son's safety. It's almost like I have an automatic reaction to defend her beliefs even if I dont agree just to keep her from emotionally jumping on me. Things seem so messed up.

It is understandable for you to have that reaction. She has trained you to defend her by having you associate not doing it with her punishing you. I think this is something that would be a good idea to work on while you are considering divorce. You are able to take care of the medical needs of your children. Your wife is not. There might be medical evidence of this that could be helpful in your divorce. This is an area that you can prove that you are the better parent. You should use this to your benefit and also feel good about it. No matter what your wife says, you can look to this as something you can have faith in yourself and your abilities as a parent for.

 

[abbynormal1929]

In answer to one question, I don't have any legal custody, or right to make medical decisions about my stepdaughter. It more of a "Dad in title, cause the biological father was an abusive narcissist". 2nd Public school finally gave in and are paying to send my stepdaughter to a more specialized school, still a day school. I'm just hoping a new will come with a bunch of resoueces that will help her. The psychiatrist that wanted to perscribe the Abilify discharged her, and my wife is looking into a developmental pediatrition that's also a psychologist instead.

As to other people's perception of my wife: everyone else says shes sweet, quiet, and mild mannered. I get all of the negative parts of her personality. The couples therapist does know, however, that she had gone through on of my journals. The therapist didn't say musch about it other than that she doesn't know the context or tone of the journal that she read.

I'm taking classes to be a Nurses Aide, and I was just saying to my mom yesterday how taking care of nursing home residents seemes like the least stressful part of my day.

 

[Teasel]

As to other people's perception of my wife: everyone else says shes sweet, quiet, and mild mannered. I get all of the negative parts of her personality

Is a bit of a headf*ck isn't it, others thinking the person that hurts you is everything sweet and mild.
Best to you x

 

[abbynormal1929]

Yeah. Last night she was in a relitively good mood, sometimes when she is she calls me a whore, then she says she's kidding and acts like I've overreacted when I haven't really reacted outwardly at all yet...

 

[Teasel]

Tiresome isn't it. Mine uses different flavours of the same thing. A short sharp stab designed to shock, hurt and get a reaction, followed by complete denial or anger at my reaction, as you say, whether I've even reacted or not.