Sexual Assault Oklahoma Court Ruling

[FauxLiz]

I don't want to trigger anyone else here but I guess I am just wondering if anyone else has had any issues since the Oklahoma courts ruled this week that because the female victim was unconscious due to being drunk she wasn't raped under the way their laws are written because intoxication is not specifically called out as a reason for being incapable to give consent.

I have barely been keeping things together today and if it wasn't for a therapy appt. tomorrow I am not sure could. I have been having what I call daymares all day today ( these are not flash backs but like a nightmare usually work stress related day visualization that stresses me out and stars any of numerous bullies I run into in my line of work). I know why this is bothering me but I really couldn't afford a huge trig going event like for me.

 

[Chimera]

Hello @FauxLiz
It's a travesty, a gross injustice.
I've been "taken advantage of" due to intoxication...mostly under circumstances where I was young and alcohol was high grain and I was naive of the impact.
I was a little sister at Georgia Tech...it was a mistake. (Most of them were decent, just partyers, some though were predatory)
It's wrong on every level and anti-human. I understand why this is causing intrusive thoughts...Please be honest with your T. Please be kind to yourself, I am sorry this is hitting so hard..

I felt a need to edit this...too forthcoming.

 

[Justmehere]

Here is something that might help to know: "Although Oklahoma’s rape law says a rape can occur when the victim is intoxicated or unconscious, the forcible sodomy law does not contain that language. The appeals court unanimously ruled that because the law lacks that provision, the defendant could not be prosecuted." (From: http://www.tulsaworld.com/news/cour...cle_0e03dc4e-8173-5b93-ae9a-0f60a2681136.html)

Oklahoma law defines forcible sodomy (forced oral sex) as a very specific crime. It's a very badly written law and a bill has already been presented in Oklahoma to change the law. I also have read that this specific case will very likely be appealed to a higher level. So the story isn't over yet...

It is a very bad law that invalidates that forced oral sex is a crime even if the victim is drunk or unconscious. I am very glad this horrible law is getting the attention it is getting now because there is a huge outcry to change it and measures are being taken to do just that. I hope that maybe it provides a little measure of comfort to know that there is a huge effort being made to change this law now, and this will likely help many more victims get much better justice in the future than they have been getting for a long time.

This case is an example of the justice system failing to protect people from one of the worst violations of the human body. It makes sense why it is a triggering ruling for many trauma survivors. My heart is broken for the victim in the case who must be feeling awful, as well as all the victims that are in pain over this ruling and the trauma they went through - trauma that is invalidated all to often, trauma that the system failed to prosecute. It stirs up all the times justice did not occur.

I hope things get better for you soon. :hug:

 

[Chimera]

@Justmehere
Great post.

 

[RussH]

My personal opinon is: if a woman is too drunk to say no, then she is also too drunk to say yes. The law should side on the side of the victim.

 

[scout86]

Just want to add, I lived in OK for 5 years. I have friends there and I liked it there. But it isn't exactly the most enlightened state in the nation. :mad:

 

[Ronin]

But it isn't exactly the most enlightened state in the nation.

That's a nice way of saying it.

 

[FauxLiz]

I grew up in the midwest it's not that Oklahoma is unenlightened its that in the end this guy is getting off on a technicality. It bothered me so much because in a way I felt like the decision invalidated what I have gone through and absolutely in every way justified what was done to me. Of the three times I was raped the night I was so drunk that a man I knew fought me and fought me til the only thing I couldn't prevent him from doing is forcing himself in my mouth I wanted to die and it still haunts me. This tragedy will haunt the woman involved and the courts ruling will just make it that much worse.

 

[Sideways]

The law...how do I say this without completely blowing my top??

The law is an ass when it comes to sex crimes, it really is. Averaging at least 2-3 centuries behind what normal humans know about sexually based offences.

One of the (many countless) reasons why support for sexual trauma should never be predicated on the legal culpability of the offender, is because here in the real world, we can all recognise that what this monster did to this woman is an atrocity, and that of course she is going to need time, care and support to recover her life and her sense of self and safety after this.

As soon as you throw these situations into a courtroom, it is the offender's rights which become paramount, until proven guilty.

So if anyone here is reading this and thinking "maybe my trauma isn't legitimate" because, in a court of law, the culprit might be acquitted- please please don't measure your trauma based on what a court of law may or may not decide. This woman has been through hell, and deserves compassion and healing, regardless of what a court of law might say.

And that applies to all of us. Don't let this court's decision lead you to question the legitimacy of your suffering. Not for a second. Here in the real world, it is your experience, not the offender's rights, which are paramount.

 

[EveHarrington]

Just want to add, I lived in OK for 5 years. I have friends there and I liked it there. But it isn't ex...

Drove through once------yeah. LOL.

 

[EveHarrington]

OP

Why are you letting a court decision invalidate your thoughts/feelings/experiences?

I think it would be healthy to disengage.

What happens anywhere else isn't an invalidation of ----me---- or if what I've been through. I could look up court cases where rat b@stards got off Scott free for CSA and internalize it all and make it be my issue-------but to what ends?

 

[Sideways]

@EveHarrington - exactly!

Give me any example (any) of sexual trauma that has caused someone ptsd and brought them to this forum, and there will be a court somewhere that has acquitted someone for something similar, if not identical.

None of us can afford to measure the validity of our suffering based on what the courts would say about our various abusers. The courts' role is to determine the criminal culpability of the offender, not the legitimacy of our suffering.

While we would all very much like those 2 things to be one and the same, they are very different.

To the OP - this is not a court of law. There are no 'technicalities' that disentitle you to be here, or make your suffering less real.