Old Wounds Destroying My Relationship

[Svlhj]

I'm 25 years old and was traumatically assaulted and abused for a good portion of my childhood by my father during visitations.

I received therapy briefly in college but spent a good number of years during that time abusing drugs and being promiscuous and pushing the limits. All my relationships were about sex. Now several years later I have been in a good relationship with someone stable who cares about me. Now that I have ceased my drug use and taboo behaviors I'm starting to have flashbacks and panic about being touched in certain ways and even dissociating during sex. It is destroying my relationship which is important to me and one of the first ones worth keeping in my life. My partner knows about my past but feels that my lack of passion in our intimacy is a problem I have with him because of my extreme sexual behaviors in the past. I hate what happened to me, I hate who I was because of it and I am trying to work through it with a therapist now.

Does anyone have a similar situation that they had positive outcomes to with PTSD therapy? Or strategies they used with a partner in a similar situation?

 

[arfie]

I have a similar background. I am almost 60 and have been married 33 years. You are already using the same strategy I used to get here.

Keep on keeping on. It is hard, but it is worth it. Stay brave. Stay honest.