Other On-going traumatic relationship disorder- anyone else think they might have this?

[mumstheword]

So I recently came across this type of "syndrome" and pennies dropped.
Although I still believe I suffer from c-PTSD from early and many compounding traumas, i also recognize that part of my difficulties stem from a number of individuals in my close family that are incapable of empathy and this have contributed to the development of OTRSD, or Cassandra complex, or some such name. My father is on the Autism spectrum, having Aspergers, my mother is clearly histrionic, my ex is a sociopathic narcissist and i also have a young adult child with autism and (thanks to his father's, I believe) episodic psychosis. I'll post a link here to give some more background and I'm just wondering who else might identify with this stress disorder (as well)?

Stunning Example of Lack of Empathy

 

[mumstheword]

The other disorder I believe I am in recovery from, or having to manage, i guess, really, is Post Traumatic Relationship Disorder - PTRD, thanks to a 21 relationship with a sociopath.

I would really appreciate peer support or just an understanding, mutual trouble-shooting discussion around managing this as it is a horrific thing to get ones head around, like all traumatic stress disorders, but with some particularly nasty traits, specific to this particular traumatic stress.

Here is an article that explains it.

Post-traumatic Relationship Syndrome

The ongoing traumatic relationship stress disorder I am managing, as it now directly related to my relationship with my son with autistic/psychotic neuro-relational issues.

All of the others I have cut from my life for now, although there is HUGE guilt and torment about my familial ailienation from my parents. I do feel relieved, but I know my Aspi dad is not malicious at all, he's just very emotionally taxing, when I have so much else to deal with from compounding issues.

 

[EveHarrington]

It seems that PTRS is only if the full criteria for ptsd is not met.

 

[mumstheword]

That may be so, but I find myself alternating between the two types of symptoms. I went into the relationship with my ex partner with full blown.p- PTSD and, as such, was a prime candidate for long term exploitation, passive servitude and unending acceptance of neglect, abuse and gaslighting. Upon realizing that the relationship would kill me, rather sooner than I was prepared to die, i fled and since that time have had fazes of acute stress with extreme shattered nervous system, mania, uncontrollable shaking, shock-like lack of temperature control, inability to speep, chronic digestive problems and this has scaled down to a lot of horror ruminating about that man, and a lot of social avoidance and freeze mode PTSD symptoms, as major problems.
When I left the relationship I would be utterly non-discriminating about who I would share my horror, trauma and disadvantaged life with, i.e. hitching a lift and telling the driver my story without taking a breath. Now it's gone back to unmanageable social avoidance, agoraphobia and not being able to get out of bed and function much. So, the way I see it, I've had overlapping traumatic stress disorders/sets of symptoms. Maybe I'm more dissociative than I realize and differing "parts" respond to the many and varied traumas and ongoing traumatic lifestyle(s) that I've lived is ways that demonstrate the distinctive sets of trauma symptoms

Whatever way one looks at it,.i would say I've a core diagnosis of c-PTSD from childhood and adolescent trauma with a secondary set of emerging symptoms of the others, resulting from my relationship.

One can have more that one illness.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yes but what you describe can be a part of ptsd. I'm not sure that you need another non-official diagnosis.

 

[mumstheword]

I always felt a bit weird about the PTSD diagnosis.
Considering the people can develop if from just one traumatic incident.
I just couldn't really relate to that. So when I heard about the compounded trauma condition - c-ptsd , that, in my country, is not even recognized, I thought that's more like what I've been dealing with.

I'm quite frightened of even approaching medical diagnosticians and not particularly optimistic in finding a T that knows much at all, about what I've been.dealing with.

We are a vast country, where most people live in a small number of coastal cities, with a relatively small population.

So the likelihood, of me, in a very regional area, not near any of the bigger cities, can find anyone effective and knowledgeable in getting their head around what I struggle with, is not looking too good.

Therefore I need info, that I can point whoever I see, towards, in an attempt to get some validation, recognition and understanding what what I'm going through and needing support with.

I'm still dealing with a number of incorrect and ill fitting, either, outright WRONG diagnosis -BPD or partial and unhelpful diagnosis -depression, anxiety, straight PTSD, that don't fully address my issues. Which is why I found these articles a "lights switched on" revelation and thought sharing them might assist others if dealing with these kinds of traumatic stress conditions.

I think you, in America and Europe/Britian are further along with trained, informed and effective T's, certainly than what I've experienced here. It's been somewhat appalling at times, the level of ignorance, ineptitude and downright harm caused to myself and many others I've talked to, from the services here. So I find I have to be VERY proactive and do my own research, to get anywhere.

 

[EveHarrington]

I was referring to the PTRD which isn't recognized by any diagnostic manual.

It seems like an attempt to chop trauma up into separate diagnosis' by trauma type.

 

[mumstheword]

I guess its only helpful context by context.
I was thinking of showing my psychologist the articles as she doesn't really do any recognised trauma therapies with me. I thought she might find it interesting.

The.most effective things I've done, or do haven't been what most people here seem to be doing.
I did trauma release therapy - TRE, for a year, but it's not accessible now.
I've been attended a mental health recovery choir for 9 yrs now, very helpful.
Music therapy
NIA -non-impact aerobics
Yoga
But talk therapy has been just downloading, venting and having encouraging things said to me.
I'm pretty well compared to where I've come from, but would love some specific trauma-informed practise therapy, with take home stuff to work on.

 

[Sideways]

We have people from as far away as Perth who come and do 3 week intensive admissions to the TDU (Trauma & Dissociation Unit) here at Belmont Private. Your treating pdoc (or even GP) should be able to organise a referral for you.

The unit only takes on people with a history of complex trauma, ao you'll be among people who totally get it, along with what is largely considered the best Trauma unit in the country (because, frankly, there's not much competition!).

For what it's worth? Your diagnosis would most likely be Complex PTSD. The alternatives sound a bit like fluff!!

 

[mumstheword]

We have people from as far away as Perth who come and do 3 week intensive admissions to the TDU...

Have you been in there?
It sounds utterly terrifying to me!
What's the nature of the treatment they offer?
Part of my issue is a fairly pathological fear of treatment, psychiatrists, admittance.
I did try and get into the local psych hospital once though and was told to "go home and deal with it"
I was once told by a local Dr many.moons ago, just before I got caught up with my ex, after hacking away at my wrist, as a homeless teenager, to "go and get a job!" In very mean and contemptuous tones.
He also gave me anti-Ds which made me feel like a compete zombie so I threw them away.

I was also told, by the local.hospital, when I presented, after I left my ex, with chronic gut pain (I had chronic long term blasto), hadn't slept in i couldn't even remember, very manically unwell, after being lelt in the Emergency waiting room for so many hours after they had treated everyone else and I.begged them to see me, crying "I don't want to die!" They begrudgingly admitted me but I had to call out again, just to get pain and sleep meds, cause they just left me.

They sent a psych nurse to see me in the morning, who said to me, a very ill long-term abused, shattered woman "well I think you might be mildly schizophrenic, but it's ok" and was sent on my way, back to being homeless and in chronic pain, vomiting blood and delirious.

I haven't been back, except to sing in the psych ward with my choir and when
My boy got admitted (my friend was actually killed in there, it was institutional criminal negligence and over-medicating. It was all over the news. Their response? They changed the name of the clinic to avoid a law suit)..

So I'm pretty wary, but at the same time, perhaps allowing myself to be slightly hopeful.

 

[Sideways]

Yeah. I've been there several times. I've also been to other private and public psych wards. Honestly? I've spent a LOT of time in and out of hospital. And your experiences? Yup. It can be truly awful.

TDU is different for a few reasons. First? It staffed by trauma informed, trauma qualified staff. Exclusively. They aren't your regular psych nurses, psychologists, pdocs - hell even the yoga instructor does trauma-informed yoga!

Second, it's a working unit. You go there and do 3 weeks of pretty intense work on your recovery. The program has been around for more than 20 years now, so they've really fine tuned it so that you get the most out of it, but you also survive it!! I personally only do 2 weeks at a time, because that's my limit. Some people stretch it out for 4. But the standard admission is 3 weeks and it's not an acute admission. So the whole approach is different to what you'd experience in other psych settings.

The unit only takes 12 people at a time, and they are all complex trauma patients. Everyone is at different stages of their recovery, but you very quickly find a lot of common ground. You make good friends - we're a tribe. I'm a recovering agoraphobe, but spending 3 weeks in a small group working together? The supportive dynamic is amazing.

There are numerous pdocs with admitting rights to the unit, but they all specialise in trauma and dissociative disorders. And I think it's the biggest unit of trauma specialists in the country. They work together, they know what they're doing. You simply don't get the run-around with multiple diagnoses and rubbish that you get elsewhere.

Honestly, it's 3 weeks of very hard work. But everyone ends up going back for multiple admissions over time, because the help is that good.

If you check out the Belmont Private website, there will be some info on the unit on their site. But if you're considering giving it a try, I'd check out the website and then call the hospital and simply ask to speak to the TDU. The nurses on the phone usually have time to give a bit of an overview and some hints on making it through the referral process.

I spent 6 years with a very competent mental health team. Then I switched to the Belmont team, and it was a complete game changer. Instead of having a freakish trauma history that people didn't believe (let alone know how to treat), I now work with a team who believe me because they deal with people like us every day.

 

[mumstheword]

Another question. How do you afford it?
I'm on a disability pension and have a small amount awarded from victims services, a laughable amount considering what I've been.put through. I can't afford private health insurance or to "self-fund" as they say on there web site. My victim money, I was hoping to keep, to get me out of this ghetto public housing situation that's making me more ill and out into the bush.

Perhaps I could see if my Aspi dad could help me, he's put me through no small amount of stress, himself.
What kind of cost are we looking at any way?