One Of My Neighbors Was Shoot And My Friends Are Being Weird.

[Justmehere]

Ok, talked to police and they couldn't give much info but said they had no on-going safety concerns. I finally reached out to a friend and she came with me to my apartment and we scoped the place out, all seems normal.

I decided to sleep on my floor tonight anyhow, because I dunno, it makes my brain feel better. I'm pretty sure all is fine, and now the only battle is my nerves.

 

[hodge]

But they haven't got the guy, eh?

I'm so glad your friend came over to help you scope out the place.

Sleeping on the floor isn't so bad sometimes. I bet your doggie will love it :-). Like a pyjama party. I kinda wish I was there, too. We could riff on Trump and all kinds of stuff to distract from what happened. Ooh, and eat a few yummy snacks that aren't necessarily good for us, lol, oh, like Pepperidge Farm cookies and guacamole and salsa and chips. Just try to take comfort in her, as I know she will try to comfort you. I'll still be up for a little while yet.

 

[Friday]

The way I know I'm with "my" people? The way they respond is right. Even if it's wrong, it's still right.

Doesn't mean I don't like/love/respect a helluva lot of people who aren't my people. Friends, family, acquaintances... It's a fairly rare thing for me to be able to just sink into the relaxation of mine. It doesn't make them any less for not being what I need/want to be easy. It just makes things not easy ;)

 

[Justmehere]

Yeah, I think I was really baffled by the response more than anything, and wondered if there was something wrong with me. :( You all get it. That helped me find my feet and handle this. Today is a trauma anniversary for me, so I guess it was bound to be extra weird for me.

They told me they couldn't tell me if they caught the guy or not. So that's weird. I dunno, the whole thing is weird. :(

My dog is delighted I'm sleeping on the floor. She gets ALL the space to cuddle right up next to me now. :)

Will write more later... still grounding my nerves. Thanks for the support and validation everyone!

 

[sedna]

Ok, talked to police and they couldn't give much info but said they had no on-going safety concerns....

Most the other comments said what I was thinking, so that leaves me to wonder about your friends. My first thought was that if you're the codependent type, you may not realize it but your friends are always blanking out your needs and feelings, you just noticed it tonight because of an intense situation.

You might want to start noticing if you feel really seen by these people in happier times, or if you're always focusing on them and their interests...because thats the way they like it. I hope I'm wrong about that btw. If it is the case, then it doesnt necessarily mean they're bad people or shitty friends, just that its gotten into a pattern maybe.

When cops say there's no more need for concern, then they already have a handle on the situation and it means you can relax. They either have the guy or they know why he did it at least and think he wont come back for any reason.

I'm glad you're okay! Gunshots in apartments are totally scary, the walls are like shooting through a chalkboard! :wideeyed:

 

[hodge]

That is really weird that the cops wouldn't tell you if they'd caught the guy. I never heard of that. Grrr to your local cops for this one. I hope they are more forthcoming tomorrow and days following.

Yeah, there is nothing wrong with you. Anyone, PTSD or not, would feel totally discombobulated if there was a shooting next door.

Damn, I'm so sorry this is an anniversary for you, too. Those are hard enough to get through without having another layer of trauma added, which I see your situation as being. That is, .I think this is a new trauma. It doesn't matter that it wasn't extremely severe, like at the point of your neighbor being killed. What matters is the effect it had on you. It would have the same effect on me. And it definitely warrants talking about in therapy, not that I doubt you would do that. Just trying to reinforce your perceptions that, yes, this was a really bad thing. And it threatened you because of the proximity.

I hope you have a nice night on the floor snuggling with your sweetie :hug:s

 

[hodge]

Oh, and just to leave you with a more upbeat thought, in case you check again tonight -- Pepperidge Farm cookies, yuuum. And guacamole! And that sweet dog who gets to cuddle up to you tonight :).

Speaking of which, lol, now it's time for me to cuddle up with my honey.

Take care! :hug:s

 

[Justmehere]

Mmmm.... Double chocolate Pepperidge Farm cookies...

I slept with my dog, on the floor. I spoke to the police this morning, and they have determined that my neighbor accidentally shot himself in the leg. He is quite embarrassed about it today. My neighbor got through surgery last night and will make a full recovery. :) :) :)

 

[hodge]

Whew! Oh, that's such good news. I mean, I'm sorry he shot himself and had to go through surgery, but very relieved there was no violence!

Yum, I don't think there's a Pepperidge Farm cookie I don't like, haha. Unless they make one with coconut.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I just found this post and I am so glad that you got the right information from the police, I am sorry it was an anniversary reaction at the same time.

I think your friends response was not what you needed at the time and very odd. Typical of denial and then change the subject, a good time to re evaluate these friends perhaps.

I am so glad that you are safe again.

 

[Eagle3]

I lived in an apartment in a not-so-good area of town. It was ok, but there was a murder two doors down from me. I was out when it happened, but I had gone home earlier that day and heard them arguing. I was actually surprised at how little that affected me! I really didn't care that it happened so close, but it sure made me not want to renew my lease! I didn't barricade doors (since they were already barricaded, locked, and I always sleep on the floor), I didn't go running anywhere else, I just took care of my own business. Sometimes I wonder about myself. At least you had a reaction! My friends were more upset about the murder than I was! Sorry this happened to you, but glad it turned out ok. :-)

 

[Anarchy]

Sending you hugs JMH
:hug::hug::hug:
I'm glad that you are safe and that your neighbour appears to be physically fixable.
I'm guessing that it was a negligent rather than deliberate discharge?

I don't know what to make of your friends reaction:cautious: