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Re w
So I have started to do reflective journaling and it helps SO much with almost every aspect of my mental health...But also opens up my subconscious (again, kind of the gaol instead of being numb and etc.). The problem is that it has an adverse effect on my sleep. I feel like it brings things up and my brain becomes afraid that it will become too much, even when I am actually processing things quite well.
I will almost fall asleep and then jolt awake just before drifting off as a sort of protection from the nightmares/ dark mental states I am afraid of falling into. If I had more time to process it all then I think I'd let it happen but my new job has me working crazy hours with a 5am wakeup and I just can't afford to collapse into my feelings.
I wish I could just have one extra day off per week to cope but my current position, which is new, at work won't really allow it.
I don't want to stop the journalling though as it helps in literally every other way.
It just feels really defeating to ALMOST make so much progress but....also not.
It's so much effort just to try and stay in the same place, let alone progress.
I suppose this is a rant of frustration more than anything but I don't think anyone else around me really gets it.
I will almost fall asleep and then jolt awake just before drifting off as a sort of protection from the nightmares/ dark mental states I am afraid of falling into. If I had more time to process it all then I think I'd let it happen but my new job has me working crazy hours with a 5am wakeup and I just can't afford to collapse into my feelings.
I wish I could just have one extra day off per week to cope but my current position, which is new, at work won't really allow it.
I don't want to stop the journalling though as it helps in literally every other way.
It just feels really defeating to ALMOST make so much progress but....also not.
It's so much effort just to try and stay in the same place, let alone progress.
I suppose this is a rant of frustration more than anything but I don't think anyone else around me really gets it.