One Year Sober

[Ellabella44]

If you told me a month before i quit I'd even be saying that I'd have told you that you are nuts and I NEED vodka to stay sane.

Its also a year since I was going to kill myself. Thankfully too drunk to walk and get anything to do it with.

Scared me enough when I woke up later a year ago today that when I wanted a drink bad again I ran away from home to walk on the beach with nothing but my keys and my drivers license.

I didn't trust myself enough that first day to not go out and buy a bottle and drink it before I got home. First few months weren't easy. I didn't do aa or any program other than running scared away from the bottle of vodka I still have at home.

I get mad at it now. Reminder of how low I got one night and I don't ever want to go back there again. Sometimes I yell at it.
still figuring out what I want to do to celebrate making it this far. When it was two months I bought my rings I wear on my pinky fingers. One to remind me not to drink. One to remind me I'm choosing to live.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Good for you on making the positive choice for your own well being. I am very proud of you, because I know how hard that is. I used to be a heavy drinking person many years ago. Now I barely touch the stuff.

 

[Tinyflame]

Congratulations @Ellabella44 . :tup: You are very brave. :) :hug:

One to remind me not to drink. One to remind me I'm choosing to live.

I really like that idea. :) :tup: It's happy & positive (instead). I wish I could come up with something like that too.

 

[Neverthesame]

Congratulations!

No small feat. Not an easy demon to fight, but it can be beaten.

 

[Ellabella44]

Thanks , its still a struggle sometimes. But its got to be worth it to not end up there again.

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah and bravo Ella gal... good stuff.

 

[Sammyiam]

Wow that is so amazing, you are doing great. I am so pleased for you my husband is coming up 5 years in Jan 2016. He still sometimes says he feels like one but he has stayed drink free. I'm so proud of you !!!!

One day at a time one year at a time.

Good on ya :)

 

[macbeth]

So happy for you, well done. ☺

 

[Chincho]

Congratulations @Ellabella44 !!!

 

[Chava]

That's wonderful...congrats and keep going!! :)

I'm recently re-sober...I do like AA but can't mess with the sponsor-sponsee relationship and steps right now, unless I could find a really amazing sponsor...too confusing with my trauma stuff. But I do relate to the old need for vodka and wanting to kill myself. It feels very good to be free of that and I want to stay free. Thanks for sharing your hope!