Opinions/advise Needed Please

[Jet]

Hello all,

I quit my job in December of last year. The straw that broke the camel's back was small but the end result was a long time in coming and honestly, I am a bit amazed that I held on as long as I did. At that time I assumed that I would suck it up, find another job and continue to try to keep my head above water.

However, after talking to a dear friend we decided that instead of immediately looking for a new job I should go to the local DSHS office and see if I could get some help for my PTSD. I have never really been in a position to get therapy/help (made too much money to qualify for assistance but not enough to afford therapy on my own) so this seemed like a good idea and also possibly my only shot.

So, after telling my story to 5-6 different people I finally get referred to a clinic that is supposed to be really good... I went in for an intake (with my "case manager") on the 17th of last month. He then sent me for an assessment with a (very experienced and nice) nurse a couple of weeks later. Then last week I had another appointment with the case manager to discuss my assessment and figure out a plan for me.

That last appointment is the reason I am posting. During it we discussed my assessment, meds and symptoms. Then he commented that my plan "might" include therapy but it would probably be just a regular counselor because " while they had excellent PTSD specialists upstairs they really needed a single trauma (like a car accident as opposed multiple or complex trauma) to be able to help" and that I was "beyond what therapy could help".

I sort of feel like I got kicked in the teeth. All this time I have felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails...always wondering when I was going to lose my grip and fall...always wondering if the next time would be the time I wouldn't be able to find my way back. And now that I am finally able to ask for and get some help I am being told it is hopeless? That the best I can hope for is to take meds and practice the same types of symptom management I have been doing on my own anyway?

I have an appointment with the nurse on Friday and then an appointment with my case manager on Monday and I will go to those and try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I have not even made it to the point of talking to a counselor/therapist and I already feel like looking for someone else or even packing it up and calling it a day. It just seems pointless...

 

[NutritionNerd]

That's really silly - I was very beyond hope. I was abused as a child, had 3 different dad's before I was 5, multiple illnesses, undiagnosed hearing impairment etc etc. Then there was my husband of 19 years divorced me, 2nd husband died of colon cancer after 18 months of medical hell. Jump forward to my current husband's dog biting half my lip off and other assorted stressors like him losing his job, a major system upgrade at work and so on and so on until there was his attempted suicide, my going psychotic in the aftermath and being held for a week in a mental institution and finally 6 months later both of us getting locked up for suicidal intent. I have a 3 page document just highlighting major stressors of the past 10 years. I'm lucky I'm alive.

Every day at 1:00 my heart started racing, every little thing became overwhelming to where I couldn't even manage my household finances.

Now enter Superman - my therapist. Originally I got sent to him for evaluation as to whether it was safe for me to continue working in my job. First day he saw me he taught me to relax my "one" point. It worked - some times better than others, but the continual monitoring of the status of tension in my lower belly is very helpful. I believe it is a tricky way of telling your HPA you're really safe because that is the portion of the body which tenses when you are going to attack or defend.

I've been seeing him for over a year, I researched and found a medication that is helping me with anxiety, but by and large the CBT has helped me become something like stable. I had to retire from my job and I'm still not anything like 100% but a lot of the really bad emotional storms and the defensiveness that caused so many problems in my relationship are under control. I still have a lot of underlying emotional issues to deal with - it's like 50 years of stuff put in the closet, under the rug etc came tumbling out at once, but I have a framework and understanding that I can use rather than just take this pill for life as my former psych had recommended.

No one is beyond hope - I had to go almost to death to decide I wanted to live.

PS, my superman has a name and a book, I try to avoid sounding like a commercial which I'm not.

 

[Deaf Global Nomad]

Wow... your story is incredible, but only for those who have been in the mental health system for PTSD. Where do they find these incompetent and unprofessional "medical professionals"?

Yes, C-PTSD is generally more complicated to treat, in contrast to one-time trauma. However, neither is a walk in the park. Most importantly, NOBODY should be told that they are a hopeless case. Everybody deserves help. What is the goal of that anyway? Yes, the same thing has happened to me, too, by more trauma specialists than I can count on my hands and feet.

Why don't you give these two one more chance. If they come up with the same plan, then I would suggest you try a county case manager who can help you find more personalized access to therapy? Last time I checked, the various kinds of treatment never came with a money back guarantee. From my own experience, I have tried multiple different types of therapy. For example, I found EMDR too powerful for my C-PTSD. For the past year I have been trying Somatic Experiencing with a trauma psychologist, which seems much more gentle to me. For me with added language and communication barriers, I particularly like that my therapist is also trained in sand therapy as well as play therapy, in addition to every other kind of cognitive-behavioral therapy. She is willing to use whatever I need on a given day. You could google for trauma therapists in your area and see if any of their treatment modalities fits you. I found my therapist that way (from a psychology today website) and ironically her office is 5 min away from mine after I had been driving all across the 7-county metro area.

Best of luck on your journey!

 

[Ted Moen]

My guess would be they were telling you more about their specialized PTSD section than anything about you other than the obvious, that their PTSD section specializes in single incident trauma and yours is not single incident so you will need a therapist other than those in their specialized single incident section.

Ted

 

[mamachick]

Jet, I agree with dgn about giving them one more chance. I would make take a notepad and pen and ask specific questions. I would quote them and ask for clarity when needed. I would ask who "my" counselor will be, their education, credential, experience, and experience with ptsd specifically. I would ask what methods this therapist uses to treat ptsd. Then I would ask about the therapists upstairs-same questions, and why they only treat single trauma. I say that quoting the answer is important because at times I may miss a point,

There are some reasons that I can think of that would be reason for such a response, however, you have not etnioned any so I assume it is not the case. Some therapies only work well with single incident trauma's. Also, if there are other more pressing issues, that may need to be addressed before delving into trauma. For example, lack of resources such as housing, being in a violent situation, etc., Those therapist being funded by a particular grant...

Don't give up

 

[Jet]

I suppose I am fortunate that I am stubborn and won't quit now that I have made up my mind to do this. Although a part of me really wants to crawl back into bed and stay there I am not giving up. I am going back and will give them a second chance and if that doesn't pan out I will call the clinic my friend went to (she says they are awesome).

What really got me was the comment about my being beyond what therapy could help. To me that is not saying that their therapists can't help me (or that there are things that I need to do first) but rather that therapy can't help me. I know I am complicated and that I won't be an easy fix (for lack of a better phrase) but I also don't believe that I am hopeless and that is how he made me feel.

I was referred to them because they are supposed to be good on the PTSD front. So the way I figure it if they can't help me then dude should just come out and say that and let me find someone else. Instead, the impression I got was that we would work on things like stress management and proper sleep hygiene (symptom management) so that I could get back to work but that therapy would be a waste of time.

 

[mamachick]

Jet I am sorry this happened to you. Nobody should ever make you feel that way. Did they say that they wanted to work with you on stress management and sleep hygiene? A couple of years ago I was in a bad place, and I did have to work on those issues as well as others. I have a great T but it just was not the time to address trauma specifically. Although trauma was included in therapy, more so in how my reactions today relate to early life. At that time, I was struggling with conflicts/stressors that arose on a day to day basis. I understand that if direct trauma work would be overwhelming at the time, it is better delayed-but nobody is hopeless. (they dont want the cart before the horse).

Sometimes when someone tells us how something else helped them, we want that same benefit, but we are all very unique. Im glad to hear that you are going back and hope you ask lots of questions and remain stubborn and open minded about therapy. I know how hard it is to let someone else lead-My therapist smiles when I tell her time is up. I hate to admit that I look at the clock and decide how entailed to get because of time.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Don't believe everything these so-called professionals tell you.

Right now I'm dealing with a community mental health program that is mis-diagnosing me, and quite UN-experienced with trauma patients, and it's ultimately making things worse due to the stress! Honestly, I'm about to walk away b/c it's just not worth it anymore, even though it's free.

Keep fighting.... Find someone else who WILL listen to you and validate you.

 

[NutritionNerd]

A big portion of therapy and it's effectiveness is how much you are willing to put into it. Do be proactive in reading and researching and learning all you can about how to heal yourself. Be aware that parts of you will not want to be in therapy so you have to be willing to overcome their resistance and keep your commitment to getting better.

Most of my experience with therapists is prior to my getting ptsd (at least of the one-incident type). I saw 4 before I found one that helped.

Other things which I have found help ptsd include meditation, spending time doing things I enjoy like hobbies, Learning to stop pushing and judging myself. I've been working with some binaural beats meditation tapes this past 2 weeks and I'm amazed at how much REM sleep I'm getting.

 

[Zipperhead]

There are differant kinds of Therapy. It is possible that the therapists upstairs specialise in EMDR, a type of therapy that is really effective at dealing with a "one time traumatic event." EMDR is NOT recommended for Complex PTSD however, and can even be harmful. But there are other techniques that are effective in dealing with your situation. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is very effective (although it takes a long time) in situations like yours.

Is it possible that the nurse simply meant that the therapists up stairs didn't specialise in treating your situation, and that there were other Therapies you could try else where. If all they did upstairs was EMDR, then it may be a goot thing that they didn't want to go into that with you. They know how damaging that could be, and are looking out for your best interests. They might be the "specialists", but they are not the only game in town. Ask for an appointment with a clinic that offers Cognitive Therapies, and let the healing begin.

 

[mamachick]

Thats what I was thinking zipperhead-maybe EMDR. There are also some art therapies that may not be appropriate for someone who has had no therapy in the past and that may have too much to say to focus, and also have the need to get it out verbally. Is it possible that "upstairs" is group work. It would be negligent of a therapist to throw a newbie into a group without knowing their background. There are so many scenarios that are possible.

If this place was recommended to you as I understood, ask the questions and do not take it personally, it is not rejection or a reflection on you. Zipperhead is also right on about cog. behavior therapy .

In therapy, there is not necessarily a right and wrong way to proceed. There therapist determines which way to go, or which issue to address first as to what they see as priority. However, if a client came in and said, "I lost my partner, I lost my job, I drink a bottle of wine nightly, and I dont feel like living". And the therapist said, will we are going to work on early childhood trauma-they would loose their license and rightfully so. It takes a leap of faith to trust another to lead us-but necessary because we cannot always see what needs addressed. We are not objective about ourselves. Others often see nervousness, depression, irritablity before we recognize the pattern, particularly if those others are trained.

Jet, I don't know if you have ever been given a diagnosis of ptsd or other. It is possible to have more than one thing. A close family member has ptsd and is bi-polar. The bi-polar requires medication and until the person is stabilized on medication, the other issues are a bit irrelivant. It is a chemical imbalance-and until that is stabilized, its impossible to tell the effects of other things. Unfortunately, this person has never followed through as prescribed and stayed off street drugs.

A couple of years ago there was a treatment that I wanted to participate in. I was told that I could not because one of the criteria is to not be on any mood altering drugs. I take anti depressants and would need to discontinue 30 prior to the start of this group. It doessn't mean I am beyond help or too sick, it just means that it is not for me at this time. Please share with us what happens-I am hoping this turns out well for you.

 

[Jet]

I don't necessarily have an issue with him not sending me upstairs to the specialists. What bothers me is his apparent belief that no therapy (of any kind) will do me any good. Basically it feels like he is saying I am too f***ed up to be helped so I should learn some coping strategies, suck it up and go back to work.

While I completely understand the need for symptom management I don't believe that it will be enough over the long haul. Take the sleep hygiene thing for instance....he gave me a list (most of which I already do) and believes that will help me sleep. But as far as I know, none of those things will reduce the nightmares. It is a rarity that I actually manage to fall asleep and not have nightmares...those images might as well be burned into my brain with a branding iron.

Another example is stress management...I have taken stress management classes and while the techniques help with some things they don't put a dent in others...a couple of years ago I was at a park (with my neighbor's kid) and some woman back handed her toddler so hard she knocked her off the swing. I am not a tough person and I am not a fighter (kind of a wuss actually :) but the b**ch was on the ground in about 30 seconds and had her kid's crying not penetrated the red haze in my brain I would have stomped the s**t out of her.

The one thing that does bother me a bit about not seeing a PTSD/trauma specialist is the possibility that I may end up with someone who is young and inexperienced (they have a lot of interns around there). Now I know that everybody has to start somewhere and in some cases young/inexperienced is not a bad thing. The problem (for me) is that I have told my story to people who deal with this kind of thing on a fairly regular basis (police officers, a couple of therapists who deal with domestic violence issues etc...) and in the end they were crying almost as hard as I was. I really don't want to be responsible for introducing some young person (who is trying to help people) to the evils that lurk in the shadows (and yes, maybe I shouldn't worry about stuff like that but I can't help it).