Opinions On Stress Reactions Wanted

[JustBe]

@safenow, that guy was a moron!

 

[Jlso111187]

For me it all depends on what the topic or situation is, I know like yelling of any time even if its not angry yelling I get like that, but yet I can listen to music real loud. I dont know why its like that it just is. I am trying to learn coping tools myself. Hope you find some help.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I hate conflict of any kind and I hate the suspense that goes with it and I hate the emotional flashbacks. I can so relate to this one. I wish I could get over it and do better.

 

[NarcSis]

I was so afraid that I was alone with this, at least now I know it's pretty common. I've found that even when I'm feeling "Good" and "Normal" if I get into the slightest conflict or disagreement or even encounter two other people having a disagreement, I start to get emotionally triggered.

a3a2, I wish I could speak to my therapist about it, but I no longer have a therapist, so I thought I'd see if anyone else has had to deal with this. Did you ever work through this type of thing with your therapist?

Gizmo, I understand what you say about success and building self confidence, I know when I had the ability to go out and spend time in public, I was getting more confident and self assertive, but still reacted like this in tense situations, it just seems so abnormal, I guess I really want to know how to begin working it out, if that is possible or is this going to be one of my "disabilities". Oh can you explain so that I'm understanding more what you're referring to when you say, "emotional flashbacks"? I can't remember off the top of my head. Thanks.

Safenow, I totally understand what you're saying, work related stuff seriously triggers me too. Last night hubby showed me a 12-lead ECG that he did on himself and I was okay for about two or three minutes but then he started delving deeper into analyzing it and I started "budgie breathing", tensing up and clenching my jaw. I had to stop talking about it and walk away. I get where that comes from because it puts me back in my boots/uniform, but the disagreement stuff baffles me. I know it's a trigger I just can't figure out why. (Btw, yeah, that guy was being idiotic! Hugs to you.)

For the most part, I want to know how to constructively tackle this issue and try to find a resolution to it, if there even is one. If not, how does one learn to cope despite not being able to face disagreement/conflict?

I hate appearing like I'm trying to manipulate situations by "being emotional" to get my way, especially when in actuality, I'm not even aware of the situation anymore because I'm struggling to re-ground my mind.

Keep the comments coming, I really appreciate this everyone. :)

 

[John25]

I react when I'm not sure I wrote something that will get me embarrassed or something stupid, I feel like crying for that, I used to be a laugh and that was normal to me, I wanted to be a comedian when I was younger, I had friends laughing to me all the time, now it just feels weird and I wanna go away, same thing if I get confused, oh, How I hate that, :confused:, I get flashbacks from my dad and almost always want to say something totally freaky to get that person away like get the f*** off, God forgives the stupid and the drunk or like that line from the Usual suspects; Give me the f****ng keys...

 

[Sick of Fear]

My coping strategy isn't a healthy one, I know, but it's been the only one I've known. I get the same tense feeling that I get when facing conflict as I do when I make eye contact with strangers. I freeze up inside and I just wish to disappear. At least with strangers, they walk by and I carry on.

With conflict, unless I know without a shadow of a doubt that I'm right, I just go quiet and walk away. I cower to people so damn easily and I hate that about myself, but it is what it is for now I guess.

 

[WillThereBeCake]

I sometimes have the same kind of anxiety reaction even after having a positive interaction with people, both in person or online. It's really weird, but anything that raises my adrenaline leaves me shaking and trying to catch my breath. I know that I react more intensely to all interactions now. It's frustrating to feel fear because something made you happy too??????

 

[safenow]

I just go quiet and walk away.

That is a wise thing to do. You are setting safe boundaries for yourself. Once I learned how to set safe boundaries I began to do much better around people. My problem is, I am starting from scratch again, since I was home-bound for these past few years. October 2012 is the first time (other than doctor's or hospitals) I have been out of the house in four years. This past week, I was out every single day. Not for long each day, but I was still outside.

Other than that one guy, it has been a very positive experience. I have to rest this week, since I overdid, but next week, I plan on going out every day again. Pratice makes perfect.

 

[LhasaLover]

I've learnt a lot on this from my therapist as far as conflicts. There are people out there that have issues and are not in the same place as you. Bursting their bubble will only result with an attack, nobody wants their norm questioned.

Thing is, what do you care what some people think? Do you really think you can change their mind? It is their "stuff", not yours. You are not one to tell other's how to live their life. Your priority is taking care of yourself.

The few times crazy angry people have approached me I have walked away and I refuse to speak to them. As far as online, I really don't care. People post all kinds of crazy things on twitter, facebook... they don't even realize the impact they have on others. Hope that helps.

 

[LhasaLover]

There is also a saying which I like, "What others think of us is none of our business"

 

[Eric23]

I avoid social media like the plague. Yes I do use it, but I have also found there are to many bullies hiding behind the anonymity of a keyboard and the internet. One of the things I used to do had regular social functions, I met one of the bullies and all of sudden he was my new best friend when he realized exactly who I was and how much experience I had. Needless to say I don't deal with that group anymore and I still enjoy the activity just as much.

 

[NarcSis]

I enjoy reading twitter but yeah, I am the type of person who will try to "fix" the broken information - I HATE seeing misinformation or stereotypes being perpetuated by people who represent "Educated" society. It's my issue, always has been, likely it's what used to make me such a good advocate for my patients and the disadvantaged, but so help me, even though I know I cannot "fix" other people's opinions and I don't handle stress well, I still place myself in these situations.

How do you conquer your own unique personality habit? Usually I'm only defending people and trying to prevent harm....by causing myself harm.....is this the whole caregiver / Atlas issue again where I'm supposed to put the world down?

I am staying quiet on twitter now....I may cancel the whole account completely.