"other Symptoms And Disorders"

[KeepingTime]

I swear I read this forum title "other symptoms & disorders" and this is how I see myself right now. Just "other symptoms and disorders "

No matter how hard I fight against being defined by my Dx or disorders...some days it seems like that's all there is.
Life is just existing from one t appt to another. And a bunch of crap in between.
Some things just seem so basic and come so easy to other ppl around me. (Non trauma ppl) it's like they don't even give it another thought.

Sorry, I guess I'm on a pity pot today. Just really feeling like a freak...
Things that seem so benign are so triggering right now. I spent an entire t session yesterday discussing bladder function and how that is just causing me such distress. I hyperventilate at the first cue of my bladder. Which actually is not a first cue since I have managed to shut off feeling to that part of my body too. So I don't even know when I have to go anymore.

See...this I what I mean. Why is such a basic bodily function even a topic of conversation? Let alone a reason for nightmares, dissociation, and shear panic.

Uggghhhhh!!

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Kailani]

You have been through a lot and u are stepping up to get better. The road is not easy as we all can relate to. People shouldn't underestimate the power of the mind in controlling the body. It's amazing. You have to treat yourself sometimes; things or activities you like, even just sitting in nature for a few minutes with the sun on your face and the birds chirping and the leaves swaying in the wind. Keep going!!!

 

[The Albatross]

Fight is futile... you ever seen this ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy metaphor)?

The futility was apparent to me.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

See...this I what I mean. Why is such a basic bodily function even a topic of conversation? Let alone a reason for nightmares, dissociation, and shear panic.

Because thats the world we were put in. Ive had many of therapy sessions like this (actually I think moreso due to medical conditions on top of it, if I dont have to talk about pain, pissing the bed, and exhaustion again in my life, id be a half way happy camper ;)...oh an a medical mistery seizure...)

 

[Sideways]

Funny thing though, is the bladder probly doesn't get enough attention because it's not a really sexy topic.

But the bladder is one of the first systems to go in a panic attack, so I suspect that there's a lot more people experience light bladder leakage or have a sudden desperate need to pee when they panic than will admit to it. I sure do. My sister's got it so bad that she has an app on her phone to tell her where the nearest public toilet is wherever she goes.

Plus there's that seemingly hush hush connection between dissociative disorders and difficulty getting the flow started. What's up with that.

Pile on top of all that the vast number of csa survivors who suffered from secondary nocturnal enuresis (wetting the bed again after you learned not to) - and I can't speak for anyone else, but the embarrassment of that will follow me for the rest of my life.

Short version: you find yourself knee deep ina conversation about something seemingly unimportant and borderline irrelevant, and POOF, ptsd does it's thing and you realise just how much it's screwing with your entire system. Bladder? Worth a conversation in my book!

 

[KeepingTime]

Thank you for the hugs @EveHarrington

People shouldn't underestimate the power of the mind in controlling the body.

You are so right. The mind has more control over the body than we may ever understand. :)

 

[KeepingTime]

Fight is futile... you ever seen this ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy metaphor)?

I had never seen this. I think I understood the idea I just don't understand how you just decide to be the board. Make any sense?

 

[KeepingTime]

Because thats the world we were put in. Ive had many of therapy sessions like this

That's kind of what my t said when I asked "do other ppl have this problem". He said "no but those ppl don't have your history"
Maybe there's a hint of anger or frustration lingering in me. I don't recognize or even have anger usually but just frustrated that "he"( my dad ) has managed to screw up one more part of my life!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

"no but those ppl don't have your history"

Exactly!

 

[KeepingTime]

is the bladder probly doesn't get enough attention because it's not a really sexy topic.

Lol no it's really not a sexy topic at all. ;)

I didn't know about the connection between the bladder and panic attacks and also dissociation
I think I've seen you mention it before but I've never heard that before. I get how the panic attacks can trigger bodily responses but dissociation?
Do tell...:)

How are you doing btw??

 

[KeepingTime]

I know that this bladder issue directly relates to abuse. There...I said it. Don't tell my T I said it or he might fall over. :)

It was a punishment for something. Daddy would put me on newspaper in the bathroom. Not allowed to pee until I had "earned" the right to go. Many hours...half a day would pass. I was as young as 4 and this continued till my teens. At the young ages I was sure to have an accident on my paper. Which resulted in further punishment. I got better at holding it. Or at least I thought I did. T says it's because my bladder grew, And I learned to "turn off" the urge to go. I still get the urge until it's been so long that it hurts. Then I panic when I just can't hold it any longer.