Overwhelmed By Life Circumstances

[hina_hanta]

Hello, people.

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I haven't been on the forum in a while. Well, a lot has happened and I am kind of in a bad spot. I'm going to try to cut right to the chase.

I can't remember when I was last on here or if I have gone over these problems before.

Anyways, in mid July, my mother and I got into an argument at (close to) 4 in the morning. I won't go into detail as right now I am too worn out to go over it all, but what ended up happening is I threw a lot of my things in a bag, I SIB-ed (as I had been doing since Feb.), and left at around 4am.

I started heading towards my uncle's (mom's brother's) place. I slept there for about a week. Things weren't working between us either and I felt bad staying there (most of my family has issues, so it's hard to get along).

I packed up once again and left on July 23rd. My ex's family took me in (God bless them), and it was the only place to go besides a shelter.

During this entire time, my Mental Health Case Manager helped me out. I knew I couldn't stay at my ex's place forever, and honestly, I didn't quite enjoy my ex's company as he tended to harass me....although, I have to say, it wasn't as bad as living at my mother's. My ex's family loves me, especially his mom, and they can relate to my struggles somewhat as they also deal with mental illness.

Fast forward to August 25th, and I have started my third semester in community college, aiming to go for graphic design. I am a full-time student, as the Power Of You program requires.

Soon after, on September 2nd (about five days ago), I move in to Adult Foster Care. I am now living in a private household that is registered to be an Adult Foster Care household. So far, I like it. The people are nice. However, I am still dealing with my own overwhelming issues.

Before I moved out of my ex's family's house, I received a diagnosis of bipolar II, in addition to my C-PTSD, ADHD, and OCD. I am also dealing with that. I am trying to get my budget together, and deal with my mom's alternations between "I totally support and understand you" to "I don't get what's wrong with you, get over it" attitudes (very confusing). I have been dealing with criticism from others, focusing on all of my classes, random mood swings (plus depression and SI), several things on my "to-do" list (which yes, I wrote down), trying hard to get organized, broken/lack of sleep with recurring troubling dreams/memories, etc. Oh, and I'm also trying to recover from a sinus infection as well.

My head is racing with all of the above things, and probably more that I can't pull up right now. Also, I'm currently determining whether I want to let my current date to become a boyfriend (as he can be rude at times). Although, I'm not in any rush to get into a relationship. I'm too busy with everything else. As you can tell, on top of all the anxiety I have (which is actually labeled as severe), I am just trying to keep my head above the water.

I really just wanted to vent and talk about these things with others who may have to deal with similar things. I am tired and sick right now, so I think I may lie down for a while....

 

[Recovery4Me]

I wanted to take a moment to tell you how courageous you are, to not only accomplish several relocations, going to school but to open up so much without pride or prejudice.

Welcome to the forum! It is safe here and you will find some of the understanding as well as positive support from others, that you may seek. :hug:'s if you accept them.

 

[hina_hanta]

Recovery4Me, thank you so much for your reply. There is a lot going on in other aspects of my life too, and this is just skimming the surface of it all. I appreciate your encouragement, as it means a lot. :)

:hug:'s if you accept them.

Yay! I do! :joyful: Thank you, I give you hugs back! :hug:

 

[BlueOrange]

Wow, that's busy!

I support your reluctance to get emotionally involved with someone new. It might be a good stress, but it would still be 'more stress'. And you seem very busy.

 

[Friday]

ADHD & Bipolar don't co-occur. They're sister disorders, and share a lot of symptoms and expressions... so are often mistaken for each other, but you will not find them both in one brain.

The simplest test to determine between the two is to stop all meds, and then admin a stimulant in a controlled environment. If the stimulant trips the person into a mania or mixed episode? It's bipolar. If the stimulant calms them down and focus's them? It's ADHD. Going the other way (giving bipolar meds to start) is rarely a good idea, since bipolar meds make ADHD people seriously crazy. Psychosis, suicidal & homicidal impulses, voices, total lack of cognitive function / ability to tell right from wrong, no inhibitions... the whole shebang. Seriously nuts. A mania triggered by short acting stimulant can be stabilized fairly quickly, and the med wears off in hours.

When ADHD & Bipolar are misdiagnosed as co-occurring it creates a toxic medication sludge. Worst of both worlds. Because stimulants kick bipolar manias into the stratosphere, and mood stabilizers / antipsychotics trip ADHD people into wild mood swings and psychosis. So what ends up happening is more and more and high and higher doses of meds are admin'd to counteract the effect that the wrong meds are having on the disorder.

I have ADHD, and yep... When my PTSD stuff comes on hard I may "look" more Bipolar than ADHD. But I'm not. Conversely, a lot of bipolar kids were misdiagnosed ADHD as kids because bipolar wasn't a popular dx for a long time, there were age restrictions in many countries, etc. Point being...the co-occurring Dx is a dangerous mistake someone has made that needs to be corrected... Ideally before you enter the Twilight Zone. After hitting either mixed episodes or medication induced psychosis, it's usually a 30-90 day inpatient stay to pull you off all your old meds, and get the correct diagnosis.

 

[Recovery4Me]

ADHD & Bipolar don't co-occur. They're sister disorders, and share a lot of symptoms and expressions... so are often mistaken for each other, but you will not find them both in one brain.

Made me smile (odd humor at times). I have ADHD and my sister is Bi-polar.
And yup, you nailed it above, I drink a small french press of coffee to relax.

 

[Tanishq]

Oh hina_hanta, that's a lot. Hang in there, it seems you can make it there where you want to go. Best wishes. :hug:

 

[Aaa]

ADHD & Bipolar don't co-occur. They're sister disorders, and share a lot of symptoms and expressions...

Wow. Just have had so many flashes of insight lately. I actually see this in real life. This makes so much sense when u look at it context. I used to counsel kids and adults and was only recently diagnosed and I am amazed at the differences that I have experienced on medication.