Panic Ahead Of New Job

[Casey_03]

As many of you (and myself) probably expected, I am starting to panic a week before I move for my new job. I knew this would happen but the anxiety is much worse than I expected -- I wake up having panic attacks, it continues through most of the day and I feel paralyzed with fear. This has led to me not getting things done that need to be done before the move -- finding a new tenant for my apartment here, dealing with documents to transport my cat with me. There is still time for this, of course, but the pressure just builds and builds each day. I don't think I'll be able to exhale until I make the move safely and spend my first night in Ukraine. Honestly, if I could back out now, I would, if only to avoid this sense of panic and doom. It's scary to realize I am leaving behind the place that has been my home for nearly 10 years. Just so many unknowns in this situation. Anyway, just venting to people I think might understand. I have literally no one to talk to about this, with the exception of my therapist (who I only get an hour with each week).

 

[Changing4Best]

I moved about 5 years ago, some 600 miles away from where my trauma occurred. It has really helped me to be away from the location of it all. I pray that you will find peace where you are moving to and also that your job works out for the best.

 

[illusionist]

It is scary to go into the unknown, I was lucky in that it was scarier to stay where I was, so it helped me to make the move. It's a move I'm glad I did...I had a new sense of control over my life, was not crippled as much by the fear I had lived in, and felt more focused once I'd moved into my new life. You will be fine once you get over all the initial stress of the move.

 

[The Albatross]

Activate your support system and get someone there with you to assist you through accomplishing what you need to do. Schedule an extra session. What coping skills are you trying to use?

 

[Casey_03]

I don't have much of a support system, and no one here to assist me. I have reached out to my sister (who lives back home) and told her how I'm feeling, though didn't get much in response. I've written up a list of things to do and am trying to get at least one thing done each day, though it's not always successful. Other than that am using grounding techniques a lot, but that's not always successful either. I find myself spending a lot of time crumpled up in a ball sobbing.

 

[The Albatross]

Well, the difficulty in not having a support system is that you got nobody to assist when you need assistance. Willpower if it worked, would get each and every one of us over the finish line. So, Casey, no matter what when you get past the immediate and get to your destination... get a support system.

So... what coping skills are you trying to employ? What decisions can you make reasonably comfortably to get yourself back on track so that you can get the paperwork for your cat and get a renter?

 

[The Albatross]

Can you agree to do something for 15-30 minutes? Often times I find I can, and then I reassess each 15 minutes thereafter. That is how I get the ball rolling to get things done.

If you can't... pause to consider... do you want to not have a renter, not have your cat travel with your or not have the job? Dig deep and I hope you can bust through the paralysis to get yourself on the move and engaged. I have to play a game... "If I want what I say I want, I will do what I need to do. If I can't, won't or don't... then I have to either accept the consequences or run the white flag up the flag pole and quit.

 

[Casey_03]

@The Albatross Thank you - I agree that is the best way to bust through it - just force myself to do something, anything, and try to break the helplessness. I did manage to get some paperwork for the cat today. But there are a lot of unknowns making me more anxious -- i was told that the Kiev airport may not even let the cat in, since he's from Moscow. So, taking him with is a complete gamble - they may or may not deny him entry, in which case I will be screwed and freak out. But leaving him behind is also not an option. Now I am receiving threats from Ukrainians who believe I am a "Kremlin agent" in my quest to find housing there. Oddly, I had expected the Ukrainians to be on my side, as I'm a foreign reporter, not a Russian one. But no, absolute chaos. I do like the sound of your game; that is really the only thing that has been keeping me from having a nervous breakdown at this point. I can't surrender, so all I can do is push through.

 

[The Albatross]

That is another downside of not having a support system... it would be better in all likelihood not to have to take a gamble with your animal companion until you have your papers in order and know he would be admitted for instance. I fostered my friend's Aussie feline when they had to return to Perth after a brief one year trip to the states... they would not allow the animal back in although it was born there.

If all you can do is push through, play the game. Anticipatory stress is not your friend... it is the gremlin that picks at wounds, compounds fears, and scares you into paralysis. To use a redneck phrase... "Get 'er done" and know that what ever you aren't able to get done will result in consequences.