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Panic Attack Into Dissociative State

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FindingMyself88

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Didn't know whether to post this in Panic attacks or dissociation. I woke up this morning in a panic attack, although I have no recollection of a nightmare like I normally do. And now I have been fighting a very deep dissociative state. My roommate noticed and has been forcing me to play games with her, but it feels like we are barely holding it at bay…it just is so weird because I have no idea what has caused this...
 
I hate it when that happens! First thing I do when it does is the "HALT" check. Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Any of the four can cause this fog for me. Sometimes I let it evolve and discover another memory block is healing. Other times I wonder if it is just a residual habit. In larger fact, certainty still eludes me.

Whatever it is for you, hope it passes soon. I envy you your roommate.
 
I ate, I had a really good day yesterday, and I slept for like 10 hours, so I don't think it was any of that. I'm not suppose to be working on any trauma, so its all about coping. I just hate this feeling of being outside of my head..

Yes I have a great roommate. She has Bipolar disorder and so she understands anxiety and such. Partly why she can sense when I'm upset or something. Her word for me today was off-kilter…I'm still feeling it and having to fight it pretty hard.

And now I'm starting to feel panicky again…even though I took my anxiety medicine…ugh I don't know what is causing this..
 
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I'm not suppose to be working on any trauma, so its all about coping. I just hate this feeling of being outside of my head..

:D and :hug:

I know exactly what you mean. For me personally, being in my head is how I survived during the trauma. Being outside of my head puts me in touch with my feelings. It makes me feel vulnerable and raw. Being present is not easy. It makes me panic until I recognize that this is what it is.

Last night, I noticed that when I am in my head, I don't breathe lol I finally understood the importance of feeling myself breathe deeply and hearing my breathing. When I tried to mindfully breathe, I noticed my thoughts shut off. It was scary to me. Really scary because my head was my refuge for so long. And being in my body is when I was hurt.

So, I explored those feelings as I took deep breaths, in and out, just listening to my breath. I noticed I kept trying to go back in my head to safety. I let myself and didn't beat myself up for it. I gently pulled myself back to my breath. I went right to sleep just by breathing. Imagine that.
 
I know when I was a kid, I would drift off to this imaginary place where none of the stuff at home existed…but now looking back it still often was of me trying to save someone else, which is a problem I have. I would rather save someone else than myself..

Yesterday was just weird and horrible, I was exhausted. I would go from that trance like foggy state to panic attack in no time. My pulse would jump from 90s to 120s. I ended up taking one extra klonopin than Im prescribed, but I was in such a state. This exhausted me so much that even though I had gotten a good night's sleep before, I fell asleep by 7pm and slept all the way through until now, I am just waking up. So far I am feeling okay, but part of me is afraid it will happen again…I emailed my T and my psych. My T told me to use grounding skills and to contact my psych. Psych was out of office yesterday so Im waiting on her to return email today
 
Yay you! You made it through with enough continuity to carry on the thread!

Keep sorting. Your answer is IN there.
 
Thank you arfie, if it hadn't been for my roommate, I wouldn't have. We understand each others triggers or bad spots very well and she is great on helping me through them when needed. She made me play games that required thinking and then we went out to eat and to the grocery store. After she left for work, that is when I gave into it and fell asleep.

It just bothers me because the day before I had such a good day! It was the first day in so long that I didn't have a panic/anxiety attack and I actually had good things happen. Plus I had no recall of a nightmare like I normally do that would have explained me waking up in a panic attack…I just don't understand it.
 
I get like zaps and pops in my head and then I panic and then my head feels numb. Then I feel a little foggy and out side of myself and this happens to me when I am overwhelmed which I get overwhelmed daily all day long. I am always fighting this it seems. Today I started feeling this way just because I was talking to my cousin and grandma, but they are real high strung when they talk. Maybe in my head I thought I was being attacked. Needless to say I had to take a ativan. It was either that or go insane lol.
 
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