Panic Attacks And Triggers

[Suzy]

I have always suffered from anxiety. I didn't realise this until I started taking Lovan to treat Post Traumatic Stress, and was able to experience a new way of existing that I hadn't experienced before; I thought the way I was is normal, I didn't know anything different. To experience a different way of thinking, feeling, behaving etc has been exciting, fascinating, enlightening, and a shock to the system.

Before being treated for anxiety I hadn't had a panic attack. They're very new for me, I've only experienced them in the last two months, even though the PTS occured 13 months ago.

I was concerned at first at to what caused them, understandably, and I thought that because I've just recently started writing about my experience that I am just generally fragile from opening myself up. However I've found that these panic attacks are triggered whenever I feel out of control. My ex is an extremely abusive and controlling person, and after speaking with him recently I felt panicked for two full days. I don't allow myself to speak with him anymore. The other trigger, most unfortunately, is my daughter, who has mimicked her father's behaviour. This appears to be because she seems to think that the only way to avoid being the victim is to be the perpetrator. Please don't get me wrong, for a majority of the time we have a fantastic relationship, she is a very loving, wonderful person, unfortunately she's seen enough to think that there are only two ways to be, victim or perpetrator. She's only eleven, which is a whole can of worms within itself.
When I have a panic attack I feel like I'm being suffocated, that I can't take a deep enough breath, I can't hold a conversation, sometimes not even form a sentence, and all I want to do is crawl into my bed and stay there until I feel better able to face the world.

My question here is, what are you triggers and how have you learned to manage them?

I can limit my contact with my ex, and I can ignore my daughter's outbursts by telling myself they aren't personal and don't need to be validated, however those feelings of suffocation and needing to escape don't vanish. After my daughter's outbursts we can sit and talk reasonably, and her behaviour does improve with time. Both of my children are currently dealing with alot of heartache due to their current situation with their dad not spending any time with them, I don't blame my daughter at all, and she doesn't know how badly affected I am by last year's accident, so I can't make this personal with her.

Any suggestions, shared experiences, are appreciated.

Suzy.

 

[Dani]

Hi Suzy,
I'm new to the forum and the idea of Triggers and what causes them is still relatively questionable to me. I work on breathing techniques. Breathing in through my nose and a 4 count breathing out through my mouth. I practice it when I am not panicky so when I start to feel the vibrations or prickles of an attack coming on I can catch it fast. I don't always catch them, but the breathing seems to help me focus on a simple task that has nothing to do with anything except breathing.

When I am home, I've also designated a 'safe room'; where I can go and nothing can effect me. My phone is not allowed in this room. For me at first, it was the bathroom, I have upgraded to my bedroom. I have a mantra too; I say it out loud. I repeat it as much as I need to. It's simple, " I am in a safe place."

I also understand your daughters victim vs. perpetrator actions and how they must affect you. I love my mom, without her... I don't know if I would even be strong enough to write on the forum. But with that being said, I know I have said and done hurtful things to her in the hopes of getting my sociopathic fathers attention. After 30 yrs of neglect and abuse she finally left him. (yay) Sometimes she would say to me, " Ugh you sound just like your father." Or call me by his name when I said something especially hurtful. We've recently had a conversation where she finally got the courage to tell me to not say these things. And it wouldn't be specific things, it could just be my tone. Or a roll of the eyes. I also told her it hurt when she called me by his name, (since I want to be a GOOD person and nothing like him). I look back at the things I said or did to get his approval and I am appalled I did that to her. I can only share here, I remember being a kid and saying these things, I wish I could take them back. The best I can do now is work on me, and my relationship with my mom. My father is cannot exist in my mind anymore. I cannot have any contact with him, when I do I spiral. He is my worst and biggest trigger. Being manipulated for so many years has done a number on both my mother and I. We have to relearn alot of behaviors, at first it was a struggle but now; every day it gets better.

Don't get me wrong, I still have my 'speed bump' days, but I know that as long as I talk and write and I am honest with those around me that want to have a healthy relationship with me it will continue to get better. It will be better.

-Dani

 

[Suzy]

Thank you Dani, it's helpful to hear from the perspective of someone who was in a similar situation as my daughter. I don't take it personally, it is just hard to deal with.
For a long time she couldn't even talk about her dad, and now that she's started to open up to me we're much closer. It's also hard for her to understand the dynamic at the same level that I do.
I appreciate your words.

Suzy.

 

[Gamereign555]

At first I was raw, everything seemed to trigger my anxiety to panic. Medication for the panic helped me relearn myself, and eventually I was able to come off the medicine and face everything at my own speed in such a way that was more tolerable. Triggers for me now aren't the same as they were in the beginning, which was October of last year.

One obvious thing about how I was at first was the constant high levels of anxiety, one could stub their toe and end up having a panic attack, hear a sound and have a panic attack or attempt to walk through a crowd and have a panic attack. I believe I have also lived with anxiety for many years and didn't know it until something snapped in me, and all of the sudden my ptsd became a huge problem.

Today after months of therapy and just general exposure of regular things I no longer just end up panicking for seemingly no reason, I can walk in stores, drive my car, fill out paperwork, ect. My level of anxiety is signifigantly lower than it used to be but I also have less stresses in my life right now. The result is no more panic really. But of course having ptsd, or whatever other reason I am prone to stresses spiraling out of control into panic. It is much more controllable, not like it was earlier in life or anything but most of the time now I know days in advance leading up to a panic situation that something is up and I have time to nip it in the bud really.

There are some sudden trigger issues that I have but they are understandable for anybody really to have. One is intense prolonged pain another example is almost getting in a car accident. Recently I have been very proud of myself and my ability to understand and internalize panic attacks so that they don't lead me into a cycle of anxiety and more panic. My panic/anxiety issues used to last for days, even weeks and requiring medications. Now they last for days at most and they are starting to feel different, like I have more control or confidence.

You seem very oriented to breathing and chest anxiety, which I am also and if you have ever hyperventilated then that makes your fear of panic even worse, because as your anxiety rises, your body will tell you to panic because you are going to hyperventilate. I hear breathing in a bag works, but I have never tried it... I have just gotten good at noticing the signs and then both solving my problem and learning to breathe in less than I breathe out. Which has always worked for me, chest anxiety symptoms are the worst part of all this in my opinion and as long as the anxiety lingers you start to have more chest tightness/breathing issues and even chest pain if it continues to linger.

This gives me some confidence knowing that I know how to 'survive' the attacks, unfortunately it doesn't solve anything in our lives. Your life sounds pretty complicated, I don't know how you feel about telling your daughter what has happened to you and how your mind and body feels sometimes, but maybe you will get some release out of letter her know? I don't think people understand that people with ptsd often physically hurt when we are triggered, I have never known pain and anguish until my depression/ptsd. Anything to help make your life easier to manage is going to pay off huge for you. Another big feedback trap for anxiety/stress is your sleep habits, if you consider yourself having sleep problems, do whatever you can to help you get proper sleep, with habits or medication. You might find a lot of your problems are related to the fact that you are not sleeping well.

Everyday stresses experienced --------> Anxiety from stresses --------> Panic attacks -------> More anxiety/panic

 

[Suzy]

Thank you Shannon.

Reducing my daily stress has been a lesson I've learned the hard way. My ex is very controlling and up until recently would start an argument with me just to satisfy his need to control. I learned that the only way I can deal with him is to treat him like the child he is, and I've literally asked him if he wants to take a time out and grab himself a hanky.

He doesn't pick fights with me anymore because I don't bite so he doesn't get his fix. Not speaking to him has reduced my anxiety and lessened the frequency of panic attacks. So has closing the circle across the board in my life. I have friendships I've had for over 20 years so I spend my time with those people who know me best and who are supportive, and I've blocked out anyone who isn't supportive, creates drama, is an emotional vampire, etc.

Sleep is still a huge issue for me and I've been trying to manage it on my own, but I think I really do need to start taking some regular light medication to get me through. Not sleeping properly really is an aggravator, and thank you for making a point of this, I really needed to hear it.

It sounds as though your hard work is paying off and I'm happy to hear that for you, and happy to hear it for myself because it reinforces that the hard work works, which is one of the great things about this forum.

Thank you for sharing this with me Shannon, I appreciate it.

 

[MouseWedger]

Hi Suzy,
In trying to deal with my trauma I realize that it's deeper than I remember. The only way I can help to slow a panic attack after it starts to happen is to focus on my breathing and imagine my chest loosening up. In, and out. Controlled, nice and slow. Mostly it helps, sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't, I have a bear from my childhood I hold onto. It may seem childish, but for some reason it helps. My husband says it helps because its like a return to innocence, a time when things were OK. Cheer up and hang in there!
Hugs,
Mouse

 

[Lionheart]

Hi Suzy,

I have lots of triggers, but I think most of my triggers are about not being in control and being afraid of being hurt. We cannot control other people and some situations are not within our control, but we can control ourselves; (what we do and don't do in regards to the trigger).

Taking a walk helps me sometimes to get away from a situation and think about how I wish to act or even if I wish to do anything at all. Breathing in and out and imagining it flowing in and out like the ebb and flow of the ocean is helpful sometimes. I also have a stuffed bear that I hold when I am feeling triggered although it is not always appropriate for every occasion,:barefoot:

For me praying helps, because then I feel like i have done something and kept a little bit of control during those situations when I feel really out of control. In the course of things, you will find what works for you. Until then I hope you will use some of the suggestions you get from others. I am wishing you the best!