littlestars
Confident
Everything will be fine with my boyfriend until I randomly get a panic attack. I start thinking the worst possible things (things abusive boyfriends have done to me in the past) and I end up having conversations with him about these thoughts/feelings, especially the insecurities that the thoughts cause me. Luckily he is a good boyfriend. He is supportive and understanding and compassionate. However, every conversation is getting to be repetitive and I don't want to wear him out or push him away. That causes more fear. We have been together for a year and get along really well. We have a lot of good times, are there for each other, and rarely argue. I'm not used to feeling good, being treated well, or even being accepted. In a messed up way it makes me feel uncomfortable, almost as if I would be more comfortable if he was abusive toward me instead. How do you manage your thoughts and fear and panic when it sets in? What helps? What should I do? I trust my boyfriend, but I am so hypersensitive and anxious about things that cause insecurities. I end up thinking he isn't who I think he is... It's so frustrating that I do this to myself and that I feel so out of control. I feel so embarrassed and helpless.