Panic

[greycrayon]

I don't know how to write this post...I think I have alters and I feel so alone. I tried to explain it to someone who said that she believed me and I just shut down and couldn't get the words out. How am I to explain this to people who don't understand?

I feel embarrassed and ashamed and frightened if this happens in a more public place, and then supposedly 'I'm making it up for attention' when all I want to do is hide it and pretend its not there.

 

[Yunie]

First of all, do you have any idea what type you have? I work in Healthcare and I know that it can happen with PTSD. There is a part of your psyche that want to forget the traumatic experience...so it essentially creates this person. Don't feel alone, this is not so uncommon, but be sure to ask for help.

This describes it pretty well


The "emotional" part

The emotional part of the personality (or EP) is the part that initially keeps the trauma memories. In PTSD, these parts may gain a rudimentary sense of self:5-6 In DID, these parts can get as developed as ANPs (apparently normal parts), blurring the distinction between EP and ANP.

The "apparently normal" part

The apparently normal part of the personality (or ANP) keeps the appearance of normality. It does not know about the trauma, or does only so semantically (lacking personification: knowing it did happen, but not feeling any attachment or feelings to it). Often, this part avoids anything related to the trauma (also when it does not know about it, or about parts of it).

The ANP is not always 'apparently normal'. Often, the ANP has a (slightly) lower level of functioning, due to avoidance of trauma (related memories), and due to amnesia And intrusions by the EP(s) make functioning and appearing normal harder.

 

[Stickler]

Don't explain yourself to muggles. That is, normal people.

You don't have to, so don't.

The one exception being really openminded and trustworthy people.

Your alters all have kept you protected in one way or another...though the way they have done may be somewhat less than logical at first.

Feeling alone...well, it's something I get a lot. I'm plural inside too.

 

[Ronin]

I wouldn't worry about what people say about attention and so on. People without direct experience with something, can always claim that for convenience. It has zero bearing on your reality & your life.

You're not alone. While D.I.D. isn't super common diagnosis, it also isn't as über-rare as a lot of older textbooks and popular leaflets make it be, and last I noticed there's the tendency to form support groups specifically for it, at least in your corners of the world, so don't give up hope.

You're not 'supposed to' explain to people; they can do their research & they can be supportive friends of you as a person, whichever you struggle with at the moment, if it's many parts of self? That doesn't make you an oddball undeserving of support. Self care first, explaining to others later.

When you say 'when this happens in a public place', what specifically do you mean by 'this'?