Supporter Partner Of Ptsd Girlfriend

[Trice]

Hi my name is Trice and my partner has PTSD. We've been dating for about 2 years and I am at my wits end. I absolutely adore her however I am clueless on dealing with the issues. She never wants to talk about the diagnosis. I can never do enough to make her feel loved, wanted, nor validated. I don't want to leave her so I'm seeking some advice on helping us cope.

 

[Justmehere]

Hi Trice, welcome to the forums.

Is she in treatment?

 

[StarChild]

She never wants to talk about the diagnosis

Welcome to the forum Trice, does that mean your partner is not in a (trauma) therapy?

I can never do enough to make her feel loved, wanted, nor validated.

For a better understanding, may I ask you again, what exactly does that mean, that you never can do enough? Is your partner complaining, or even blames you, or is it a feeling you have? Any clarification would be appreciated, so we can understand the situation better and are more able to help you.

 

[Trice]

Welcome to the forum Trice, does that mean your partner is not in a (trauma) therapy?

For a better understanding, may I ask you again, what exactly does that mean, that you never can do enough? Is your partner complaining, or even blames you, or is it a feeling you have? Any clarification would be appreciated, so we can understand the situation better and are more able to help you.

No she's not in trauma therapy. She complains a lot and according to her our disagreements are always my fault and they are petty to her however she is the one that continue to argue. As far as the not doing enough goes... I just don't love her the way she needs to be loved. We have been off and on for about 2 years and to me its getting repetitive and no forward movement

 

[Trice]

Thanks for the welcome to the group.

 

[Trice]

Hi Trice, welcome to the forums.

Is she in treatment?

Thanks... She's against therapy. I offered to attend with her. I want to be by her side.

 

[24paws]

Trice,

I understand you. My partner /ex-partner of nearly 4 years has PTSD. It is liking walking on eggshells most every day. The one good thing about her is that she recognizes her PTSD and is willing to talk about it and try and get help. She sees a therapist and also a psychiatrist who prescribes medicine. She is medicine compliant.

Do you live in the US? If so, there are support groups for mental illness. NAMI is the biggest and most well known. They have support both for the individual with the mental illness and also the family members. Even if you don't live in the US, they have a lot of helpful information on their website. Another good website for your partner / you is No Kidding Me Too (org). (Apparently can't post web links on this forum - you should be able to figure it out.

Let me know if you need any other help or advice.

 

[Justmehere]

Being argumentative in and of itself can be PTSD, or so many other things. Besides being argumentative and rejecting of your being loving and validating towards her, what other symptoms does she have? Does she believe she has PTSD symptoms?

In regards to being against therapy, is it a philosophical position she has taken or one out of obstacles like finances? Or is it a position more like denial, where she doesn't think she needs help?

Sounds like a tough situation.

 

[Trice]

I'm in the U.S. she doesn't believe support groups will help and definitely not meds. Yep.. Eggshells that's the way it feels.

 

[Trice]

She is an army vet. Therapy is available however she's tried talk therapy before but she said that it didn't help. She has many of the symptoms I've read about especially the avoidance symptoms.

 

[24paws]

Since you are in the US, definitely check out NAMI. Where in the US are you? I'm in Florida.

 

[24paws]

And also, in regards to talk therapy not working, she has to find a therapist that she feels comfortable with, regardless of the type of therapy.