Paying for therapy

[Reflections]

Not sure if this is the right place for this. I'm looking for feedback on how to take care of therapy financially.

I can't afford therapy and I'm looking at my options. For some time I've considered asking my father to pay for my therapy. I've not talked to my father much in the last few years for complicated reasons, partly because he's part of the reason I need therapy. He hasn't acknowledge the emotional abuse or much or anything he has done. Past or present. I feel I have every right to ask him to pay for therapy. At the same time though, I haven't wanted him to feel like he made up for the hell he has wrought with money. I didn't want to give him a chance to ease his guilt, when he hasn't admitted a thing. Or worse, he feel like a saint for "buying a bandaid" when he did the damage.

Lately though, I wonder if these bitter sentiments are only holding me back. I don't believe I'll ever get the acknowledgement I want from him. He'll never be a mature adult. So, does it really matter whether he feels off the hook or not. I wonder if letting go and allowing him to help would be better.

My other option is to muster what energy I have to do work to pay for the therapy myself. Which is daunting... I worry about maintaining work regularly whether doing therapy or not. I intend to start working anyways, it's just a matter of stablity, stress, and energy.

The worse thing I could imagine with my father is him using his charity as ammo to attack me later or that he suddenly stops helping. I guess even that isn't that bad. I just know he is petty.

I know there isn't a right answer. I just want to hear from others and their experiences.

 

[EveHarrington]

Why give your abuser that power over your healing?

 

[shatter eyes]

Can u access funding thru victims services.. survivor organizations... sally ann?

Contact local social services for resources?

 

[UnicornSightings]

Yeah there’s no way I would ask someone else to pay for my therapy. What happens when he randomly stops paying when you’re going through hell? That’s if he would pay at all and I can’t imagine that conversation going well in my own family. There are therapists who work with those who can’t afford it. I’d do your research and try to find someone on your own. There are some who do it for free as well (new therapists) and then there are some who are paid by government funding I think someone else mentioned. So I’d explore all that first. Best of luck!

 

[Reflections]

The reason I would let him pay is because I'm exhuasted all the time.

The abuse wasn't sexual or physical. It was/is emotional, verbal, relational and I don't know if I even quality for the DSM5 PTSD. My last therapist said I had symptoms of PTSD but I don't have any official diagnosis. I'm fairly certain I do have a dissociation disorder though.

I don't think I can get government help unless I get (and likely pay for) an official diagnosis.

I feel leery of new or gov therapist to be honest. That they are too green, too overworked, or don't have the expertise or modalities I need. My last therapist, while a good person, felt overworked and mildly distracted and she ended up re-traumatizing me. She worked at a busy church supported organization that I could afford at the time. People I've talked to say it's worth it to get the right therapist.

I did find the social services in my town.

Calling up people and asking if they'll have free services is really hard. I don't feel like my problems are big or bad enough that people would help me over others.

I meant to say, I don't think I qualify for survivor help.

 

[UnicornSightings]

What about group therapy or support services that are free through NAMI or Adult Children of Alcoholics (you don’t need to be a child of an alcoholic to attend). If you don’t qualify for government need and aren’t in a position where you just can’t function then that may be a better option? Or meet up has groups for support sometimes. I’d check what’s going on in your community. I think having one person to focus on just you is awesome but if I couldn’t afford my t (he offers a sliding scale and worked with me to reduce it further so consider negotiating) then I would do group stuff.